Infinite Love with Kate
My self-healing journey, living with a facial difference and acknowledging I was drowning in my own darkness. Realizing everything I was doing in my past, wasn’t quite aligning with who I desired to be & feel, so I started changing the trajectory of my future by choosing to sit within & feel everything I was so scared to feel. I simply let go and surrendered to the process & trusted in myself & chose me!
Infinite Love with Kate
S5 Ep: 82 "Entering a New Chapter with Gratitude and Grace"
What if the unexpected twists and turns in your life were actually gifts from the universe, guiding you toward profound personal growth? In this grand finale of Infinite Love with Kate, I invite you to journey with me as I reflect on a transformative season of healing and self-discovery. From the challenges of recovering from major surgery to the spiritual and emotional revelations that unfolded, this season has been an unmatched tapestry of learning and acceptance. Life taught me patience, the power of releasing judgment, and the significance of embracing change, even when it arrives unannounced. Leaning into faith and trusting the process, I've emerged with a deeper understanding of what it truly means to heal—not just physically but from within.
As I celebrate turning 45, I'm marking one year smoke-free and three years of sobriety as triumphs in my journey. The big lessons of 44 were not what I expected, but they were exactly what I needed. This season, I've become more comfortable with being seen and judged differently, learning to let go of others' perceptions and focus on my own path. I promise you’ll leave this episode inspired to embrace your journey with gratitude and grace, no matter how unpredictable it might be. Join me as I share the insights and blessings that have flooded my life, setting the stage for the exciting adventures that lie ahead.
Welcome back to another episode of Infinite Love with Kate. It's not just any episode, it's the finale of season five and I cannot and not believe we are here today, 16 weeks later, 16 amazing episodes, and what a journey it's been. Honestly, it's been kind of a cool season. I wasn't exactly expecting it to go the way it went, but that's what happens when you kind of lean into faith and trust. And I started out the journey October 2nd is when I returned back for season five a day shy of my one month healing anniversary of my major surgery unexpectedly major surgery and I thought I was going to push it off, which I did a little bit. I mean, it wasn't, I didn't go full throttle into the episode, but I stuck with it. I did it and I'm grateful I did, because now I'm here right here, and I can't believe 16 weeks have gone by.
Speaker 1:There was one point, one moment in that timeline that I was kind of hoping, man, I need a break. And then it happens. Right, it does happen in our daily lives and that's what I've kind of been projecting outwardly with my healing journey, not just physically, but the last five seasons, is my internal, emotional, self-healing, spiritual journey. And by sharing that by projecting outwardly. I'm telling you that there are moments where you have to reassess, reevaluate who you are, where you're at, and then ask yourself what do I need right here in this moment? During that time I did, I assessed myself and said, well, I can't take a break. This is my podcast right, without feeling the guilt and the pressure. You know, and I always did that song, the pressure. I do that to myself often, but not this time. This time I re-evaluated and I sat with it and said, well, I can take a break, no problem, I'm not going to feel guilty. And I waited, let the week progress. And, honestly, I waited a couple of times, until the very last minute, but I trusted it. I just leaned more into that unknown faith.
Speaker 1:I know, I know Most people will say like, well, with the type A personality I can't. Just, I like a plan, so do I, so do I. But this journey, this healing, doesn't have a plan. It doesn't come with instructions or guidelines. I don't know when I'm going to feel the things I feel. I don't know when trauma or wounds are going to surface. I never do. But I go with it, I flow with it, I sit with it and I also isolate, not to the detriment of my health or wellbeing, but to what allows me to feel comfortable in order to process me to feel comfortable in order to process, to grieve, to sit with, to let go and release, to figure out.
Speaker 1:So that's kind of what the season five has been. It has really awakened me to patience, to sitting still, to thinking that, all right, you thought your 44 was going to be the year. You thought, I mean, you really saw the signs. But it was the year. It was a year for you to really learn about your body, not just heal your face and your differences, and knowing that people look at you differently, judge you differently, see you differently, whether quietly or very outspokenly, not sometimes welcomed, but you've learned to embrace it, listen to it and release it. Not my journey, your judgment, not my journey. That's all I gotta say. I can feel it, but I won't hang on to it. Just wipe that beep away. So that's where I'm at. So this year, 44, I thought, oof, something big, universe has got something huge for me with a big stamp and said, yeah, I got a lesson, I got a huge lesson for you, okay. But with 44 also came blessings. No lie. It was one of these and I rolled those waves. I rolled them so very strongly and I'm grateful I did, because here's what I learned. Here's what I learned during season five In part of season four, is 44 was a big year for me.
Speaker 1:I'm almost two months away from turning 45. I'm two months away from one year smoke-free. I am three months away from three years sober. Great things right, pouring into me. Now my body is it what it was? No, in the last year it has gone from what I was desiring to not so much desiring.
Speaker 1:But I had to learn to look at myself in the mirror and love everything about me. How can I go and love everything about my face and love my inner child and love all that I've really learned to hate in the past and then, all of a sudden, get taught this lesson of well, now your body's changed, you can't simply do the same thing you just poured all that work into with your face. Come on. And it was a valuable lesson, because I did need to relearn my body, I did need to relearn acceptance. I needed to learn that this was out of my alignment, was not in my control, but was universe's way of saying sit with this, be grateful that you figured it out, be grateful that you listened to your body and you disregarded what all the doctors kept saying You're fine, early menopause. Nothing's wrong with you, this and that. No, it's not this, and that there is something wrong with my body. I am going to speak out. I am going to speak out very loudly, and then you find out that you were right, because you listened, because you advocated for yourself Things you never did in the past, things you couldn't communicate very well.
Speaker 1:For someone who's very outspoken, it wasn't always like that. As a kid, as a teenager and even a young adult, my communication process was the biggest barrier Me, the lack of the lack of pouring into myself, the lack of choosing me, the lack of love, the self-worth, all lacking. So, therefore, then, my voice, my throat chakra were dismantled. There was so many barriers that I was putting in the way to be unable to speak up for myself. It'd be very quiet and timid, but hear me, who's going to hear you? You don't even see you, you don't even hear you. So how is anybody going to hear you? So, with love, with healing, with confidence, comes my voice, comes the power within to then project outwardly. Is it perfect? Nope, am I trying to be? Nope, I'll always state that.
Speaker 1:People always say why do you constantly remind people? Because I watch how the world works and the world's always looking for your next flaw. You can do everything right and the more you shine bright, remember this the more you pour into yourself, the brighter you become and the brighter you become. It is so hard for others to see that light. They don't like it, because what it mirrors back to them is everything that they are not, not everything that they can't be, everything that they are not. I was that person. Everything that they are not, I was that person. I felt that rejection, I felt that bitterness, I felt that jealousy and rage. However, my heart and my empathy are so much bigger, so much greater, because I'm pouring it. I figured it out. I figured out that accountability, looking in the mirror and saying, hey, let's start here, not let's start there, let's start here. The world's going to do what the world wants to do, but you can't control that. You can only control what you accept, what you feel about yourself.
Speaker 1:So here I am, season five, almost to an end my body, rediscovering it, reloving it, pouring back into it, listening to when it's ready, not forcing myself to just get out there and go run a marathon because I don't like the weight I've gained. Not going to work. The only way this body will transform and change for the better for my alignment to match my alignment with how I feel is I have to feel that and believe that within. So, now that I'm starting to, I'm ready to actually get out there. Yes, it's winter. Yes, I don't like running outside, but I'm now pouring into HelloFresh. I'm not here to be a commercial for them, but this is where I'm beginning. I'm starting to listen, starting to go organic, starting to be healthier, starting to make better choices.
Speaker 1:And again, I've been doing those little things here and there, but I quit smoking. But by quitting smoking, I've also felt like I wanted to eat the world and the world said here, I am your oyster. And I said gladly, gluttonous. I learned to lust this. But no more shame, only acceptance, only love for this body, this beautiful body that has gotten me here in 44 years in counting. Why not just be grateful Because I am? Why not just learn from the lessons? Okay, I'm here, all right, god, listen to me. Universe, thank you for the lesson. It took me a little bit longer to listen and hear it, but I caught up, I got there. It took me a little bit longer to listen and hear it, but I caught up, I got there.
Speaker 1:Sometimes you got to put the pen down and the paper and just be. Can't write a novel if you're doing X, y and Z. You can't tell a story, make a movie, sing a song, if your mind, your heart and your soul aren't in it. Everything has to come together in alignment, otherwise you're forcing the process, which then makes for a disaster. You might get lucky and you might make success off of one thing, one viral video, but if it wasn't all there, if you weren't all there, you'll never know how to get back to that, how to recreate that over and over and over again. Then you'll be chasing emptiness.
Speaker 1:I don't want to chase emptiness anymore. I want to understand every single thing I'm doing in my life for its purpose, for my purpose, for the greater purpose. I want to keep pouring back into me, because everything I pour into me then goes outwardly and that's what changes the world. I no longer want the world to be divided, but I can't be divided within. I no longer want the world to be divided, but I can't be divided within. I no longer want the world to judge and hate. I've got to choose love within. Do you see how that affects and impacts the world? Because everything I pour into myself, yes, my light will become brighter and that's what I hope it does.
Speaker 1:Project movement forward. Choose you, pour into you Love you Keep doing it. Don't just do it here and there, but don't shame yourself. Into you Love. You Keep doing it. Don't just do it here and there, but don't shame yourself when you feel like you've fallen away. Give it up and try again.
Speaker 1:What if Michael Jordan quit during high school, when he thought he was a nobody? We never would have had the greatness of what he was and what he became. We never would have had successful movies because of him, nike shoes because of him. Don't you see that, no matter what, the world's going to push back? And there's a greater purpose for that pushback it is to build resilience in you, to keep pushing forward, to never stop in your checks unless it's just a pause, embrace and process, release, let go, or to reflect and hold gratitude. So that's where I'm at today. I am right here with all of you saying thank you. Thank you for being here, thank you.
Speaker 1:If this was the start of your journey on season five, I highly recommend you go back. You're gonna see a lot of bumps and bruises along the way because, like anything else, I poured myself into a project that I'm still learning. I am no podcaster at first, but I'm loving it. And they say, the more you love it, the more you stick with it. And, just like anything else, it's when you fall in love with it. Then you move on to find something new, something greater, because you never know where the world's going to take you. It's never rejection, it's redirection. So, with that being said, from my heart to yours, thank you. Thank you for listening, thank you for loving, thank you for choosing you, or choosing yourself, on this journey. Thank you for choosing me and infinite love with Kate Until next season. Much love and please go back, re-listen or catch up. Stay safe, stay beautiful and stay in love with yourself. I love you always. Thank you.