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Infinite Love with Kate
My self-healing journey, living with a facial difference and acknowledging I was drowning in my own darkness. Realizing everything I was doing in my past, wasn’t quite aligning with who I desired to be & feel, so I started changing the trajectory of my future by choosing to sit within & feel everything I was so scared to feel. I simply let go and surrendered to the process & trusted in myself & chose me!
Infinite Love with Kate
S5: Ep: 81 "Transformative Talks: Navigating the Chaos with Love and Unity."
Imagine the profound transformation that occurs when you embrace patience and self-love on a healing journey. After my own surgery for fibroids, I discovered the powerful lessons of nurturing both physical and emotional well-being and advocating for love and compassion amidst the challenges of our world. This episode offers a heartfelt reflection on the past five months, sharing the intricacies of recovery and the importance of appreciating one's body and spirit. As I prepare to re-engage in physical activity, the journey becomes more than just personal healing—it’s a call to recognize our shared humanity and strength through growth.
Reflecting on a personal timeline intertwined with global challenges, I recount how a pivotal trip to Key West helped me rediscover unity and collaboration. This episode brings forward my reflections on confronting isolationism, societal division, and the erosion of rights. Touching on the importance of honest dialogue to counteract hate, the narrative also includes a personal revelation—coming out to my family during a time of illness likely linked to the emerging COVID pandemic. As I ponder the nature of memory and healing, I invite listeners to move forward with gratitude and love, encouraging open hearts and shared understanding in facing current global issues.
Hey, welcome back to another episode of Infinite Love with Kate. Two episodes left and I am done with season five. Where did all that time go? Honestly, I was just off of my recovery from my surgery, I was back at work and, lo and behold, I was jumping right into this podcast. Did I take a couple extra weeks for myself? Of course I did, but how fast this time went. Was the recovery easy? No, I'm still recovering, but almost five months in, I'm feeling ready, ready to get out there and try.
Speaker 1:I'm a little nervous because it has been what? Almost five months, maybe even longer, since I've done any running, anything, anything in the sense of physical, physical workout, the way I like to work out. I mean, I'm a speed walker so I can get anywhere from six to 10,000 steps in a day at work. That's just at work. So I move, I hustle and bustle, and was I moving right away when I went back to work? No, I think this whole procedure, this whole experience of these fibroids, benign tumors, was a great awakening to really get me to slow down and move at a sloth pace. I've never in my life at work moved that slow. I've never really put so much effort and thought into how careful I was with my body and not lifting and not bending over quickly. It was a whole different experience, I'm going to be honest. So here I am and it is almost 16 weeks.
Speaker 1:I usually cut off my episodes, my seasons, my weeks, and I was sitting there and my phone went off. My calendar went off, but I had the old schedule in, not changing all the dates, because I honestly did not think that my recovery of being at home for a month would have me not even try or attempt to do a podcast. I had no energy. There was nothing in me to say, oh, let's get up and do a podcast recording. I really thought. I thought I was using my childhood recovery tactics where I would just get up and bounce back, not this 44-year-old no man.
Speaker 1:So the humor got me and I made the ultimate decision to delay my podcast season, which is fine. I mean the type A in me. To delay my podcast season, which is fine. I mean the type A in me. I'm not always type A, but there is a section of me that is type A really panicked for a second and then I thought about the whole process, what self-reflection can do for you. You stop and you think about everything the details, the messages, the underlying messages, peeling back the layers of why do you think the universe has you going through this? Not because God, the universe spirit, hates you, but because there's a greater, a greater message, a greater lesson it's allowing you to alchemize this process and turn it into something beautiful for yourself.
Speaker 1:And I did that and luckily, because of where I'm at in my healing, in my journey, luckily because of where I'm at in my healing, in my journey, in my self-awareness, my self-love, I've really put pieces together to understand that this was a timeout, pause. Let's do things extra slow. You don't have patience? Well, I'm going to teach you patience. You said you wanted to learn more patience. Well, here it is. It's funny how the world works. You ask for things. It's not that you're going to be handed patience. You're going to be handed the situations that teach you patience if you let it and I did.
Speaker 1:I may not have liked it at first, like anything else, I'll fight it, you know, a little combative with my own demons, my own self, but I slowly learned that I had to relearn my body, relearn how to love my body and accept it for all of its glory of all the waking and everything else. And it was different. It was a different kind of love, because before it was my struggle of loving my face, loving those differences. Now it's loving everything about me. It's not just one piece at a time, it's everything, embracing all of me, my age, everything, my vibrance. Embracing all of me, my age, everything, my vibrance, my levels, my energy, my love, my respect and gratitude for myself, for what my body gives me, and pouring into that, completely, pouring back into my soul and my healing and my journey physically. Now Before it was mentally and emotionally and socially, spiritually. Now I'm doing it physically and you see how it's just constantly pushing me to growth, to healing.
Speaker 1:I never saw this coming. I mean, if you would have asked me five years ago when I began this journey, I don't know if this is exactly how I could picture it Now. Has this journey been easy? No, have I wanted to jump ship a million times. And now, the way the world is going, our world is in its dark night of the soul and it's hard. It's hard to process it, it's hard to balance out all these energies, but it's necessary. And I think because of the physicality of where I was. I mean when I had these fibroids growing on me. I was carrying weight and pain that was taking away. There was no room where I couldn't breathe. Every step was effort and energy that I was inserting and I realized, like now I'm ready, I'm ready to get up and I'm ready to do this fight and push myself and do the workouts and pour back into me physically. And while I'm doing all that and I'm thinking about it, it's for a greater purpose of that battle we have to go through now.
Speaker 1:With the way the world is, I want to keep centered, I want to keep grounded, I want to hold nothing but love for all sides. I'm not going to sit here and say, choose one side. I say, choose humanity. I say choose love, compassion. I don't care if you vote red, blue, green, yellow, orange. I'm going to say it over again. I don't want to hear it. I hate labels. Stop with the labels. When you peel all the labels back, can you honestly stare into that mirror and say I love me and I love mankind? Stop with the judgment and the hate and the division.
Speaker 1:Work together. If we don't like something, then let's come together and work together, because what's going on right now isn't working on both sides, on all sides. We can't just say it's not working for one side, it is not working for all sides. We're turning our voices into trends. I get the concept of what these trends mean. I get you're trying to take out the hate, but you have to understand that you're turning your voice into a trend, which is a projection, which then just exerts more hate, more judgment, because judgment is hate Hate for ourselves, hate for others. Use that anger, hate and turn it into love and turn it into reasoning and turn it into balance and turn it into harmony.
Speaker 1:I'm watching what everyone's doing all over the world and how powerful is it to watch other countries solidify, come together, unify and take down their empires. Take down the people that need to step down, and it's working for them because everybody is coming together as one. We're not removing people because we hate them, because of their color, their race, their gender, who they choose to marry and love. That's not what's hurting us. Hate is what's hurting us. Division is what's hurting us. Power, greed, that's what's hurting us. If it's that important to you, put all of you on an island and go Go prosper, be wealthy amongst each other, pat each other on the back, but you'll never thrive and survive because you'll never have us to eat, to divide, to suffer, to control.
Speaker 1:Do you see how that makes no sense? It doesn't. We are repeating history, and not in a good way. Everything you've read is now going to repeat itself, and that's what Sam, me and my friend Charlie. He wanted to come visit because he knows this topic is serious, because he picks up on my energy, you know, and I would say 99% of the time I don't shut it off, but I don't sit with it, and then that 1% is reactive, is mine.
Speaker 1:I have to take accountability is my projections, is my triggers, but that's the difference. I have to take accountability is my projections is my triggers, but that's the difference. I'm here, taking accountability, but I choose to push forward, and I ask that all of you do too. With love. I'm together with love. We aren't successful if we aren't working together. No one man, one woman, no one person is above all unless we allow that to happen. And right now that's what we're doing, no more, but I'm not going to be afraid. No, whatever's to happen has to happen. We have to utilize this darkest of times to transform it into something more beautiful If we so choose, if we stand up and rise like the phoenix. So who are you? Are you going to rise or are you going to sit, stay stagnant in the darkness and let this be your life? Let this be your cycle, over and over and over, until you're a part of the history books for future generations to see.
Speaker 1:I remember, and someone had asked this question, and I thought, wow, when we were children and we were reading about the Holocaust, when we were children and we were reading about the Holocaust, how horrifying the experience, the reading of Anne Frank, what they did Imagine. Would I ever be in a situation, would I ever survive? And I remember tears, even then, as a little child, being very empathetic because you can feel that pain. That's torture. People were tortured and it wasn't fair, but it was hidden because social media, television was just coming out, I believe, but it wasn't utilized, you know, because why not sway media or sway them away, so nobody sees it. Out of sight, out of mind. So the world didn't understand what was going on. Even people in that area, in those areas, saw the smoke from the factories, saw the ash coming down, not realizing those were human remains. But Dill couldn't believe their minds, couldn't believe that this was truly what was happening.
Speaker 1:And here we are thinking, oh, I would never let them have, I would never let them take me. You know, as a child, that's what you want to say. You're like, no way I would fight. Well, are you fighting them? Are we fighting? Are we turning TikTok trends into our voices? Or are we able to do more? What are we so afraid of? There's more of us than there are those who hate. There's more love than there is of hate. If you do the math, love outweighs hate. Love is more powerfully beautiful than hate. So what are we going to do? What are you going to do?
Speaker 1:I know I can't just sit by and let these next four years go unscathed, quietly, just living. I won't ever be submissive to you, to anyone who feels, because I'm a woman or I'm part of the LGBTQ crowd. That's my, my life, my choice, my family, my community. But I am open to all communities. I don't sit by a label. I endured all those labels all my life to not get to this place right here in 2025 and then watch the world separate and divide by more labels extremists, right, left, democrat, republican, like I said, up down inside out, I don't care. Peel back those layers, peel back the labels, remove them and tell me who are you. Do you have a heart, a soul? Do you speak with compassion and kindness, or do you project with fear, with anxiety, with, with judgment, with hate, with rhetoric?
Speaker 1:It's time you take accountability. It's time you stand in front of that mirror and ask yourself is it because you're afraid we shouldn't have our rights taken away from us? We are a democracy, this is the land of the free, yet does anyone feel so free? We're taking children away from their families, plucking them out of schools. They're not free. They're children about to be traumatized for life, unbeknownst to them where they're going to go. We're allowing people in power to turn a blind eye to the crimes, to the hate, to the sex trafficking. We're pardoning criminals. We're removing migrant workers. Well, now, who's taking care of all the crops? You think you've opened up jobs, but ask yourselves are you, as Republicans, going to place your children, your family members, into those farms, into those positions to work?
Speaker 1:Unfortunately, this has become a society of content, creation, technology, innovation, using their voices, their ideas in meticulous ways. I can't say I'm here, all for it. Everyone should be working somewhere along the line and you shouldn't be expecting to make all your money off of going viral, because that doesn't always work and it also places you into a position of what's more important the person laying on the street that just got beaten up, the fact that you have your phone out videotaping it. That's not viral, that's not love, that's not respect, that's insecurities of your own. We have to step away from that and stop fixating on that. We have to make a change in all areas of our lives.
Speaker 1:All over the world, we're going to keep running into more problems, bigger problems, if we don't stand up and use our voice and say enough is enough. I don't want to become a part of a country that's about to go into World War III. That's not what I signed up for. That's not who I voted for. Never in my life have I ever thought that this country was in a position where we're standing alone. We're putting ourselves out there as alone. I mean the ego is so big that we think we're that powerful that our own allies don't even want to work with us anymore. No one sees a problem with us. All it takes is one click and the United States will see more detriment than ever, than ever before with Pearl Harbor or 9-11. And I don't wish that, I don't desire that. I know the world doesn't want that.
Speaker 1:So let's come together, let's start making a change. Let's start helping our fellow man. Let's start helping the people that have lost so much in North Carolina, south Carolina, tennessee, all those areas that were flooded, mudslides, hit by the hurricane, the devastation, california, now San Diego, la. Let's help each other. More progress gets made when we work together, when we put down this greed and this power. If that's all you need, again, shake yourself. Put yourself with the rest of your buddies that make you happy, put yourself in your own little bubble, do it. But we're not robots. We're not here to be controlled. It's not going to work for you, I guarantee it. Nobody's going to abide by that.
Speaker 1:Freedom of speech, the Constitution, our rights. If you want this to be a man's world, you're going to be lonely. You want us to have more babies? Then be honest at least and say you want us to have more white babies. That's what you want, because your rhetoric is hate, is division, is discrimination. You've already removed women's rights, so it doesn't even make sense. How do you want more babies, when women can't even have their babies, without going through A, b, c, d, e, f, t, h, I, j, k, l, m, n, op. Make it make sense, please, and make it make sense with compassion, because I have no time to be gaslit, manipulated, lied to, forced upon, yelled at. I don't, I don't, I'll sit there, I'll listen, then I'll walk away. After I've spoken my piece, I'll walk away. I don't normally like talking about politics because I'm going to try to sway away from it, because the purpose of my episode really was the fact that five years ago was the first case of COVID.
Speaker 1:The pandemic was just in its awakening. It was, I remember, because I had, I'm assuming. I can't say I had it, but I had been severely ill for three weeks coming off of Christmas break and I remember I couldn't breathe. My chest was beyond heavy, face was swollen sinuses. I felt very fatigued. But the only reason I kept going was my other coach was, I believe she just had a baby. She was still on maternity leave. She had a baby in the fall. She was on maternity leave and we were going down state for Special Olympics and so I had to.
Speaker 1:In my mind, I kept telling myself you just got to do this, you got to do this, you got to go. You know, you got to get it going. And I was just like go, go, go. But I mean, I barely remember even teaching. I just remember gasping for air, like just praying. I could catch my breath and would go straight home and go right to bed, get back up and I swear I don't know why, but we were having practice all the time and I just knew I had to keep going.
Speaker 1:And then we went on a family vacation to the Keys, key West. It was the best thing for my body because I hit that warmth, I hit that sun and that vitamin D, everything Like. I went from my deathbed to like no, and it was fabulous. The trip was fabulous. I finally came out to my mom on this trip five years ago. That was the last person to really come out to within my family. And then I just came out to the world because I realized that I was coming out to people one at a time. There's too many that I just didn't really want to tell the story over and over, so I posted it. But anyways, that's the point. I reflected. It literally felt like what timeline am I on Like a time warp, because I know that since then, every year, for five years, we've, I wouldn't say, celebrated, but we reflected upon.
Speaker 1:Okay, a year ago, oh my God, covid happened Two years ago, three years ago, blah, blah, blah. And I was doing that, but I have no recollection of it. It's the weirdest thing to share, because I have a great memory. I remember all my reflections. I remember based on emotion and I can remember doing the talking. I can remember sharing on a podcast. I can remember making TikTok videos, but it almost looks like I'm looking at myself, but it's getting further and further and further away. It's so bizarre and it's beautiful, beautifully bizarre.
Speaker 1:And as I'm staring at myself and I'm reflecting and I'm like years ago, oh, in my mind lately, and I was just telling a friend, I was like, hey, the universe has got me doing some kind of reflection in a very unique way. And this happened right before I just realized it was five years for COVID and they're like well, what do you mean? I'm like, I'm talking the biggest moment, the toughest moment, the most impactful moment of all of this journey, of all of this healing in the last five years, the people, the places, the timelines, the emotions, whether it was a high or very low, have all come into play at the same time. It's like looking back, it's like looking at like a magic ball and it's swirling right, swirling and swirling and all those vibrations of staring at them, and I know you're probably thinking what are you talking about. So imagine closing your eyes and just imagining all the different moments in your life in the last five years.
Speaker 1:And if you can't go that far back, take the last year. Take all the significant, most impactful moments, whether you thought, oh my God, this is the greatest, and you felt that alive feeling, that surge, that adrenaline. Or the moments that, oh my God, how am I ever going to get through this? I can't. I wish I was Blah, blah, blah. There's moments that you find yourself on your knees, praying to God or to whomever asking for help, asking for assistance to get you off your knees or get you out of bed, because you are broken, because you are grieving.
Speaker 1:Take all those moments and you don't feel them the way you would if you process it moment by moment, right, yet you're feeling them in a very nonchalant. It's so hard to depict like what that feeling is. It's like you're brand new is the best way to explain it. But yet you know you've endured all this. You know you've experienced all this and you know you felt it all and you remember all those feelings. But within you, you're looking outside like a fishbowl, you're looking in and you're looking at it from a brand new perspective.
Speaker 1:Shift timeline is the best way I can share this, because if I was looking at it from a wounded area then my emotions would pour out, those feelings would come right there to the surface. And it's beautiful because I could still cry don't get me wrong to a great commercial. But when I'm talking about this moment five years flashing back, yet flashing forward, and watching it do slow motion, yet in a very fast-paced movie script it's wild. It's so wild, it's surreal and I so wild. It's surreal and I'm grateful that I get this opportunity to feel and understand this reflection, because it's like I put that last piece in a puzzle and I could see all of it for the first time.
Speaker 1:And I didn't know what that visual looked like when I first talked about puzzles and slowly beginning that healing journey and slowly putting one piece in at a time of my life, as I was breaking it apart, as I was feeling it, as I was sitting with it, as I was enduring all the feelings, not just one or two, but all of them Hate, pain, sadness, bitterness, ugliness, hole shutdown. Every feeling I had to own at some point in my life. Every feeling, good and bad, I had to embrace with love, with gratitude, with self-reflection that I am allowed to feel those things. I am okay. I won't ever reject myself. If the world rejects me, that is God telling me. I am protecting you and, damn straight, I'm okay. If God pulls somebody out of my life, it's for that moment of protection. It hurts and I love them forever. I am okay.
Speaker 1:Which then takes me on to the next part of my journey. I won't go into it until next season, but it's what I left you with last episode when I shared my guest spot with Laura Flowers on Rediscovering you. If you listened, you definitely went over to her episode and you heard. If you didn't listen, then I highly recommend you going over to Apple Podcasts, rediscovering you, episode 15 with Kate Gutierrez, and listen all the way till the end, because she asked a very important question.
Speaker 1:So what's next on your healing journey? And I give it. And I'm not going to give it to you, because I really do desire for all to take that next move, if you so choose. Choose and listen, if you so choose, with gratitude and with love. I am Kate. This is Infinite Love with Kate, and I thank all of you for listening, for being here for me for this journey, but most of all for allowing me to speak about what's going on in our world. As much as I'm not a political person that wants to get very political, I thank you for allowing me to share, as I have no problem listening and learning and putting it all together, but what I desire most is coming together. Thank you for your time, thank you for your love. Stay blessed always.