Infinite Love with Kate
My self-healing journey, living with a facial difference and acknowledging I was drowning in my own darkness. Realizing everything I was doing in my past, wasn’t quite aligning with who I desired to be & feel, so I started changing the trajectory of my future by choosing to sit within & feel everything I was so scared to feel. I simply let go and surrendered to the process & trusted in myself & chose me!
Infinite Love with Kate
S5: Ep: 79 "Silver Lining: A Coaching Farewell"
What if the real victory isn't about winning gold, but about the journey and growth along the way? Join me on Infinite Love with Kate as I recount our thrilling adventure in the world of Special Olympics basketball coaching. This episode is a heartfelt reflection on the recent tournament where our dedicated teams, Team Red and Team Black, both proudly secured silver medals. Amid the victories and celebrations, we also faced the challenges of sports politics and the complex dynamics of tournament bracket decisions. As I prepare for my impending resignation after 15 years of coaching, I share the logistical hurdles we encountered, including unexpected changes and limited practice time. Through it all, my unwavering commitment to the athletes and their development shines through.
Explore the emotional rollercoaster that is coaching, as I reflect on self-awareness and personal growth in a competitive sports environment. I discuss unhealed behaviors observed in a recent meeting and contrast them with my own healing journey and improved communication skills. The episode also highlights the importance of self-care, especially as I navigate physical pain post-surgery. Despite frustrations with perceived unfairness, celebrate our team's resilience and the immense gratitude we have for the supportive community of parents and athletes. As we look toward the upcoming state competitions, I express hope for positive change, trusting in divine timing and cherishing the athletes as the true gift of this special program.
Hey, welcome back to another episode of Infinite Love with Kate. I believe we are on episode 79. Well, let's just start off with happy first full moon of the new year. But don't you worry, I took off today and not because it was a full moon, but because yesterday my other two friends slash co-workers, slash coaches for Special Olympics we had our big tournament for the year for basketball and I cannot believe it even happened. I mean, it was so quick. I don't know where the time went, but I'm grateful for it. But it was intense. And I say that because there's so much to unpack when it comes to sports, let alone Special Olympics, let alone politics and unhealed people. So where do I even begin? Well, I want to start off with amazing news Both of our teams, we have two actual teams that compete, team Red, team Black, go Raptors. They both received second place, which is silver medals. So that's awesome. Kudos to them. Big shout out to both of our basketball teams and the coaches and the parents who all showed up on a snowy morning and a very early morning and again, it's a Sunday. Who would like to get up and be somewhere at 730 in the morning? Not me.
Speaker 1:So our adventure started early. I got to my friend's house, had to wait a very long time for her to get ready. Then we headed out. We made it just in time we got rolling. We each had to separate. Unfortunately, just by the way they scheduled our games, both of our teams played at the same time but two separate courts, so we didn't get to see each other play. So they came and visited us after the first game, which was nice. We unfortunately lost the first big game. We actually got blown out of the water.
Speaker 1:Now, we knew this. Going in as coaches, we knew. You see, what I failed to mention was a couple days earlier, back on Wednesday rewind time, we had to go to the seating meeting where all the coaches gather and we basically sit there and argue or we're supposed to communicate, argue about where our team should place, which bracket, what I've learned over the years this is 15 years doing this and sadly this is my last year coaching, as I am resigning from the position for many reasons, but I'll get to that later. So we sat down. It was going smoothly. Our one team is a very low team. They're beautiful, they're amazing, their skill set is very new. So we knew that that would just automatically be first bracket. Nobody could argue. They played us. Yeah, they agreed we definitely belong in the first bracket. So that was subtle. That was the easy bracket.
Speaker 1:Now, in the past years, what we did was we kind of lined it up bracket to bracket, so who would play next, who's the next skill level after that? But we were jumping all over the place and there was one team that, pretty much whoever they played, they blew them all out of the water. So they knew they were in the highest bracket and they even said that they probably should just get a ticket to state. And I know that that's sometimes not fair. However, if your competition is much weaker, why put them all through that? Why go through a bracket where everyone's just going to get blown out of the water? This is where it kind of went all wrong and it was unfortunate, but it saw it coming. Everyone's just gonna get blown out of the water. This is where it kind of went all wrong and it was unfortunate, but it stopped coming and we as coaches, we had to just kind of bite our tongue in the sense of why waste that energy yelling and screaming and arguing?
Speaker 1:I know that we're there to advocate for our team and we did that. However, there comes a point where you kind of have to stop and say, hey, we're not going to win this battle right now in this second, because you had about 19 other coaches against us. Now here's the factor I'm very confident when it comes to advocating for our kids. I have been. I'm not here to lie, I'm not here to change scores, fix things, just so we can go downstate. It takes so much work and effort and energy to go downstate. Do we want to go? Yeah, for the kids' sake, but for an honest reason I'll never want to go downstate just because you know I'll never try to wiggle my way through. Just because If I honestly believe that our kids deserve that spot, I will argue and fight for them. Otherwise you won't hear me arguing.
Speaker 1:But somewhere along the line of Special Olympics it has gotten ugly, and I've heard this from many districts, so many different areas. Illinois has a very I'm not certain how many district divisions there are, but there are several suburbs. And then the city is its own separate entity, but there are several suburbs throughout the entire Illinois and they each have a division. So we're Area E. Let's just make it simple, simplify that. So we have about 20-something school districts within our area. So then we all compete, then whoever wins gold medal, that goes to state, and then there's about a plethora like 100-something teams that play, whether you're high school level, junior high level or you're adult level, and you all compete. You know, and it's a great experience, it's exciting, but there's so much that goes into it. One you have to play as many teams as you can.
Speaker 1:I don't know what happened to this year, but I know that the headquarters moved, which then shuffled paperwork around, which then pushed all these dates forward, and then the place that we were going to have our competition, they were overbooked, so that moved our tournament up to this past weekend, which is very early for us. So, to say the least, we haven't had a lot of practice. We haven't had a lot of games. You have to have three games to qualify to participate. We at least got that in. Sadly, normally we get a lot more in, but the problem was we only had one other team that we had to cancel with, or actually two other teams we had to cancel with because of scheduling. We sent out an email. It's our job to send out an email to all schools. Not one single person wanted to play against us.
Speaker 1:I don't know what happened in the last two or three years this is when it all started but for some reason, somehow we just have this bad name attached to us. I don't know if it's because we play fair and nobody else does. I don't know, but it's unfortunate because when it comes time to doing these meetings, we can't argue because all of a sudden it's well, we didn't play them, so we have no idea. But then I feel it's done on purpose and it shouldn't have to be that way. If coaches have something a problem with each other, that should always be separate from having our students suffer. I've never understood that, so to say the least.
Speaker 1:We didn't get to play a lot of the teams that we actually normally would play in the past, and we know that there's one person who is the ringleader of it. And lo and behold, during the tournament we saw that her team blew out. A team blew them out of the water. So that tells us right there. They never belonged in that bracket, but she was the ringleader and then, when she was done with setting up her bracket, she decided to go ahead and speak on our part. She's never played us. She stopped playing us for years but felt the need to speak on our part and it was painfully eerie because she did that the year before and set us up and the year before and set us up.
Speaker 1:So, besides the point, we let it go because we're like you can't argue with someone who's so unhealed who is always projecting it clearly always finds karma, because, no matter what the situation is, karma always finds her and I truly believe in that. The more unhealed you are and the more you project evil energy outward, you're going to receive your karma. Now, unfortunately, that karma affects her kids and nobody else seems to problem with that but me. I think it's painful to watch this unfold all the time. So this tournament we got blown out of the water because they put us in the highest bracket.
Speaker 1:Our kids should have been playing with a lot of the other teams and there's nothing better than a game that's back-to-back, like 20-22, 24-26, close calls. That's a game. That is how we ended up winning state the one year we won by two baskets, but we were always down during that game. It was so intense but it was so beautiful. That's what makes magic. That's what our kids thrive off of Whether you win or lose. I will always tell the kids keep your head up high and you always have good sportsmanship, no matter what. You always congratulate the other team, no matter what, because in the end I want to make sure I'm teaching the kids the importance of values and morals, right from wrong, because my job as a teacher is never done, which also includes being on the court as a coach, and majority of these kids are kids in my program that I already teach or will be teaching because they come from the academics as well. So it was hard to know as a coach, going into this game and talking to the other coach about the respect of okay, make sure you win. I get that. We don't want to completely blow us out of the water, but we want them to see that the score legitimately shows a huge win to then validate when we go back later to put in a bid for a wild card. And what this means is we may have lost, we may have come in second place, which is great, but we now have an opportunity for our lead director to take it to state and say, hey, there was nobody else to put this bracket, but then they kind of sacrifice. Can we get them a bid for state and they'll either accept it or not. There's one problem with this. I love it, I'm hopeful for it.
Speaker 1:However, the lead person is also the one that's been allowing these arguments and these confrontations and these political scandals to kind of go about, because she's close friends with the one person who decides to speak on all her halves and, as a leader. If I were in that position, I would literally go to the people who aren't abiding by what she's asking them. She makes it a leader. If I were in that position, I would literally go to the people who aren't abiding by what she's asking them. She makes it a point Make sure you all play each other. I can't stress this enough. However, she always looks at us as if it's us.
Speaker 1:But we have proof, we have emails that have gone out. We've done this, we've done that. We've reached out to everyone. Nobody is returning the emails to play our kids. So done that. We've reached out to everyone. Nobody is returning the emails to play our kids. So again, that shows immaturity on the adult end. Right, it's not the kid's fault, it's the adult's.
Speaker 1:Now she, as the leader, could then go up to each one of them and say listen, this is the last time I'm going to tell you, or we're going to have to pull your team out, because we can't have this. We can't have arguments during a meeting, you know, unfortunately, because she can't. I mean she could create a schedule and then it really does hurt everyone, you know, because no one. She won't know who belongs where, but she'll just put it in there. So I would hate for that to happen, because you would want to at least be able to utilize your voice. That's what you're there for as a coach, as an advocate, but everyone, everyone is there to make it downstate. Now, when we went downstate, we had both teams go and we've gone downstate a couple of times and we've lost. Sometimes we've lost very closely, which were beautiful, and sometimes we've lost horribly, which means that we were placed in the wrong bracket, no matter what, again out of our control.
Speaker 1:I don't think there's any real easy way of defining how this works. You hope that there'll be better ways, but coaches can always lie on paper. When you rate your kids and I wouldn't say that they're always lying Some people are brand new and some of these rating scales that we put our kids through. It's very flat. It's so broad that it doesn't really give you wiggle room to say, okay, it's this or this. You don't have a choice. It's really hard to give your ratings. So I know for us, we sit there for hours debating. We're like, but it's this or this, but we don't want it to look like that. I mean we go through every single detailed line without straying towards. Let's lie so we can look like this.
Speaker 1:No, again, we're not pushing for state if it's not meant to be, because that is a whole pandemonium in itself. Meant to be, because that is a whole pandemonium in itself. Booking hotels, going through the grief, talking to parents when parents have to come with, renting a bus, working with a million different staff members to then get the money, the compensation, to go to it. There's so many details that lie behind all of this. It's stressful and again, that's something I'm sitting here like I'm going to state. Coaches go sometimes because they know that it's going to be fun. They put their kids to bed, they leave them with their parents and then they hit the bars and they have a blast. That's not why we go. That's the last thing we think of. We're too exhausted. But you see that there's always something, there's always a purpose and a reason behind it.
Speaker 1:And I can't speak on everyone, but I can speak on us and what we do for our kids, and that's advocate for the right reasons, for the healthiest reasons. I have yelled at parents, even on my own team, who are disrespectful. I don't, I don't accept it. I don't tolerate it. All of our kids have special needs. Therefore, we treat everybody with kindness. You can't heckle your own players or other players, even as a parent. I won't allow it. I don't justify it. It's not accepted.
Speaker 1:So you see, like I'm always there, paying attention not only to what other people are doing to us but also to our own and how we're handling ourselves. And again, we're not perfect. I'm not perfect. I have said some not-so-kind things. But I know there's a better way of speaking and I know last year I got out of hand a little bit, but I was angry and I projected instead of responded, and I own that. But that is where the difference lies Healed versus unhealed. So when I sat in that meeting on Wednesday, I heard a lot of unhealed people and it was painful and we had one coach don't even know who this guy was yell out well, at least you'll get second place, so take it. I'm sorry, what right do you have of our kids accepting second place when they can fight for first? Don't you get to fight for first? But it's okay for you to fight for first, but you're telling me, just take it. Would you tell that to our kids? Would you say it to our face? Like I don't even think that man thought it through, what he said to us and how inappropriate that was and how our leader heard it and said nothing.
Speaker 1:You know, and there was even one point where our leader said she moved one of the teams over and she's like you know what. They took one for the team last year. We don't want to do that to them again. Well, so did we last year. We don't want to do that to them again. Well, so did we. We lost by a lot of points last year. We got like blown out for our second game after we won the first game, which was close. The second game we just got blown out of the water. And she knew and we said it and somebody else agreed they did get, they did take one from the team and she didn't do the same thing as she did for the other team, move us over. She just ended the meeting. Well, that's it, we're done. Because she didn't want to hear it anymore and we weren't even the ones speaking. It was frustrating.
Speaker 1:So again, we took one for the team and again we went into this game yesterday knowing that we were going to get blown out. So I told the coach I go, don't take it easy on us. Second half, don't? I want the score to be what it's supposed to be. I want it to reflect what it's supposed to be. I want it to show that what they're doing is so inappropriately.
Speaker 1:They could make this choice. They should bring it to state prior to these tournaments and say, hey, what if we do have one team? What if we do have one team that cannot play anybody? What do we do in this situation? Should we just allow them? Because everybody there that night of the meeting was in agreements? I can see if nobody is, if there's some fine, that's a debate that we should put in the bracket, but if everybody agrees, then yes. So here we are. We take second place both teams. And it was amazing.
Speaker 1:Now, our lowest team, they got blown out of the water, I guess for the second game, but you can't do anything about it because we were in the right bracket. However, we wanted to make sure when we did bring it up, when we put the bid in for a complaint to hopefully go downstate, we basically told them you know, we know that we were in the right bracket with our lowest team. We can't argue that. However, please take a look at the other team that placed themselves in a bracket that they shouldn't have. Mark it as a note for the next year that that's not okay, you know, and maybe have these meetings go a little bit longer next year, I don't know.
Speaker 1:But again, I won't be there. I might be there just to assist the new coaches. Otherwise, I'm going to run very far away from these meetings because I don't agree with them and I don't agree with how adults behave and I only hope for the best. I only hope that it does change for the better. I really do. I hope people see what their reflection is. And can you love this person that's reflecting outwardly? I know I do so. I know that I'm in the right with what I'm doing. I'm confident in that. So here I am today.
Speaker 1:I got home yesterday and I was in a lot of pain and a lot of it has to do with standing for so long and moving. My body isn't used to it yet. I thought it was one aging, but two just because of the surgery. Everywhere that my body hurt was partly like where I had the incisions, and it was painful. I even stretched with the team, but even my body hurt to stretch. So I definitely know what I'll be doing from here on out. Starting every day is getting a good stretch in, because I'm over here ready to start working out. And I don't know if I mean I was on my feet for at least seven hours, eight hours, standing, moving, coaching, and I got home and I just wanted a heating pad and a deep tissue massage.
Speaker 1:But, to say the least, it was fun. It was fun to talk with the coaches, it was fun to share the experiences we get home and we had a group thread going on with the parents. I asked if they could share photos and overall it was just a lot of thank yous from the parents. We felt seen, we felt heard, we felt appreciated and there's just nothing greater than that, you know, as a gift. So we feel blessed. So we feel blessed that we're surrounded by amazing parents, that we're surrounded by amazing athletes. They are the ultimate gift to this program. I truly believe I've been blessed for 15 years coaching these guys, and I won't go into full detail because my season's not over yet, so I'm going to hope for the best with State and how it turns out. I believe in divine intervention, divine timing, and whatever universe has for us in SOAR is meant to be. We already won state once and we will hold that forever in our hearts because of the insurmountable work that was put into it, not just on our end, but by admin that really truly supported us, by our own peers, our own teachers and our programs that supported us, our parents and then, on top of it, our athletes. How amazing they were. They deserve it, you know, and they earned it. So we're blessed again.
Speaker 1:So here I am on my day off and realizing it's the full moon and it doesn't feel so weird. I did wake up feeling a little off, but not off in the sense of like oh God, negativity, but in the sense of like newness, like what's coming in, something's different, something's changed. But then then I got this amazing message from this woman, laura, who I just recently was a guest speaker on her podcast and I'll talk more about that next week because that's when I'll air it. But I listened. I sat in bed and I listened. After I slept 12 hours. I turned it on and I was proud of myself. I loved the whole podcast.
Speaker 1:It was so easy talking to this amazing, beautiful soul. She just has this presence and energy about her that puts you to ease and the conversation flowed like we had been friends forever. She's very good at interviewing. Conversation flowed like we had been friends forever. She's very good at interviewing. She's very good at listening. It was probably the most peaceful and harmonizing moment I experienced in a while just to sit there and then to hear myself speaking confidently and a story I share all the time. But it's just the presence. I could feel my energy shifted and I was proud of myself in not an egotistical way, but just in a beautiful, compassionate way for myself, and I haven't felt that in a long time. So that made me smile about the way I felt about myself, and not questioning it or not mocking myself, you know, with jokes aside. So I just carried that beautiful energy with me in the morning, got up and did my thing and got showered and I'm up here.
Speaker 1:I didn't know what I was going to talk about per se. I knew I was going to go the route of Special Olympics, just because talking about trusting and being present in the moment and understanding that there are many unhealed versions of people all around us and that sometimes it's how we handle those situations by sitting with it, by optimizing that negative energy into beautiful energy for yourself, pushing that back out to the world. And that's what the whole purpose is. I believe is why God's source universe does that for us. It puts us in a room with all this energy. What do you do with it? Do you take it home with you? Do you fester and sit in it and allow it to become your toxic energy? Or do you take it home with you, process it but then transmute it all back out to the universe as positive energy, with a positive attitude? And I chose positivity because I don't want that energy to sit with me. I don't want that energy to stay with me because the way my life is going, it's up and up and up and up, and I like it, I love it that way. This is how I desire it to be.
Speaker 1:But it takes work too. The world's not just going to hand you a beautiful platter silver platter of everything beautiful and positive. You have to put the work in too, and so I had a conversation with someone who reached out to me today talking about the fear of TikTok leaving and not being able to communicate, and I basically just shared with them that there's no need to worry about the what-ifs of tomorrow, next week, next month, because all that's doing is you holding on to this negative, toxic energy and bringing it with you. We're not guaranteed tomorrow, so why worry about what tomorrow brings? There's a divine purpose for whatever happens. If this app closes, it's going to redirect you to something even more beautiful which includes me, if I might just be one milestone, one beautiful rock that you pick up on your journey amongst millions, and that's going to be okay. So take it for what it gives you in the moment and utilize that energy to help you to grow you, to teach you, to push you forward. Don't be so afraid of being isolated or being alone, because if you're going to hold that fear, you're always going to feel that alone. You're going to take that with you, and the whole purpose of our journey isn't to just have a million people right here at our fingertips. It's to be grateful for every soul that comes into none of our lives. They all serve a divine purpose, a divine gift.
Speaker 1:Let go of the attachment of the unknown, let go of the fear. I was that person. I know I get it. I was completely attached, especially to the unknown. So I attach the majority of my life to fear of the unknown, of things I can't control because I don't know when they're going to happen or what is going to happen.
Speaker 1:So if I can leave any lasting messages out there, just let go. Just be present. Just be grateful for what you have right here, right now, in this moment, and cherish it. And dance. Get up and dance and be grateful for the moment of dance right here in this moment. Celebrate Binge, watch your favorite show right now, if that's what you desire to do. If the sun is shining, get out. Go for that walk. Do the things that excite you because they make you feel alive, they make you feel present right here. Put that phone down, step away from the what ifs, the unknowns, the fear, the attachment. You're going to be okay. You will always be able to redefine who you are and serve your purpose, as long as you let go. I'm Kate and this is Infinite Love, and I thank you for joining me on another amazing episode. Until next week, take care, stay abundant, stay blessed.