Infinite Love with Kate
My self-healing journey, living with a facial difference and acknowledging I was drowning in my own darkness. Realizing everything I was doing in my past, wasn’t quite aligning with who I desired to be & feel, so I started changing the trajectory of my future by choosing to sit within & feel everything I was so scared to feel. I simply let go and surrendered to the process & trusted in myself & chose me!
Infinite Love with Kate
S5 Ep: 76 "Gifts that Sleigh!"
Have you ever felt a mix of emotions during the holiday season? On this heartwarming episode of Infinite Love with Kate, I open up about my own journey through a year of transformation and the unexpected gifts it brought. From facing health challenges to undergoing major surgery, this past year has been a whirlwind that taught me to find balance and embrace gratitude. As Christmas approaches, my home might be missing its usual festive decorations, but it's filled with lessons of resilience, the warmth of meaningful connections, and the continuous growth of my spirituality. Join me in reflecting on the fleeting nature of time and the essence of Christmas, as we navigate this season with hope in our hearts.
Together, we'll explore the themes of healing and the miraculous power of Christmas. Through personal stories of prayer, laughter, and tears, I share how I've processed resurfacing memories and the challenges of moving forward. My heartfelt wishes for joy and connection extend to listeners around the world, encouraging you to believe in the magic of miracles. Let this episode be a beacon of love and hope, reminding us all that even in difficult times, unexpected joy and warmth can find their way into our lives. As I send love from my heart to yours, may you feel seen, heard, and loved during this holiday season.
Welcome back to another episode of Infinite Love with Kate. Today's special because I have to begin with Merry Christmas, or Happy Holidays to all of you. There's nothing greater than having my release date of my episode land on Christmas. But here's the thing it's not Christmas just yet, and I say that because it doesn't feel like Christmas. I have that song in my head. Forgive me for singing, but where are you Christmas? It's playing over and over and over in my head. So, for any synchronistic reason, the universe and I are pretty much trying to figure that out. Where are you Christmas? What does that really mean? This whole year 2024, is flying by. I think. That's where the I feel aligned but unaligned, and I say that because I cannot believe that we're here Christmas 2024. Right around the corner, which basically next episode, will be a new year, and I remember saying that this year was my year and I didn't know what that quite meant, but I do now.
Speaker 1:2020 was a crazy year. It was a wild journey, and wild, I mean. My health was a little all over the place, but so were my journeys. Work was a little chaotic, but so were the memories. 44 was awesome, even if it landed me in the hospital, even if I had to have major surgery.
Speaker 1:I'm still grateful, and to me, that's what Christmas is all about Gratitude, being thankful for what you have, even for what you don't have. Because I look at life as I have it all my body, soul, spirit, heart, energy, space. And I didn't always look at life that way. I was grateful, don't get me wrong. I was truly, truly grateful. But now that life has changed and my perspective has changed and the world around me has changed within my heart, my mind, my soul, my body and my spirit, I may not have really understood what gratitude was. I chose positivity, even though I was hiding a lot of things. And now that I don't hide any of those things, gratitude and positivity are reflected differently. You see, it's okay to not be okay, it's okay to have bad days, it's okay to feel unaligned, even if it's on Christmas Day, because it all has a greater purpose. I have a greater purpose, you have a greater purpose, we all do, and I think that once everyone kind of figures that out for themselves, you can't solve the world's problems, but you can definitely solve your own. You can go with it and feel everything. That's what the universe wants you to do. And I think once you start doing that for yourself, you start doing things differently, you start walking life differently and you truly appreciate everything differently.
Speaker 1:So, even if the world's chaotic, even if we're about to go into a new year with a new president what I don't align with I still hold hope. I hold hope and positivity in the good of people and even in the face of darkness of others. I feel like love, kindness, strength, humility, gratitude, respect. Those all go further in life. Those are what transform people. You see, you can't react to someone's hate with heat. You're only making the problem worse. That's like throwing gasoline on a fire and expecting it to go out. It's not going to happen.
Speaker 1:So I hold hope for the future, for the new year, and I reflect upon this year as being an amazing year. And I'm not going to reflect too deeply because that's for my next episode, but I will say this Thank you, 2024, for being my Christmas present. Thank you for all those people that have walked into my life, even if it's for short periods of time this year, who've taught me something different, who've opened my mind to new knowledge, to finding more depth and layers, to the purpose of life, to the meaning of life, to faith, to hope, to love, to gratitude. Thank you, universe, for humbling me and allowing me to rest when I fought to, even if I didn't want to. I fought it but I didn't have a choice. Not with this surgery. It grounded me pretty fast, but there's sort of a greater purpose with that. I'm grateful for the journeys I've gotten to experience this year Getting on a plane, embarking on a solo trip Across the world Three countries, three weeks. Embarking on a solo trip across the world Three countries, three weeks, and a lot of amazing people I met along the way. I'm grateful for the messages that have come through. I'm grateful for the growth of my spirituality.
Speaker 1:But I sit here on Christmas and I have that song playing in my head when are you?
Speaker 1:Christmas? I didn't decorate this year. No, it's only happened once in my life since I bought this house 14 years ago or 15 years ago, I should say and I was overwhelmed. I was in a very dark, heartbroken place and I didn't want to celebrate. But that was a different version of me. This version of me.
Speaker 1:It's not that I'm in a dark place, I just don't know where time went. I don't know how Christmas came so abruptly. It's as if universe is having me replay everything in slow motion and in fast pace, trying to put that together of 2020, more like 2021 to 2024. It's like an onion peeling back those layers, and the more I peel back it's like, okay, wow, there's so much time that has happened or transpired, and yet I blink my eyes and I feel like it's all right there, like it was yesterday. No, it wasn't. It's kind of like the Mandela effect, but it's my life that feels like the Mandela effect. And so Christmas doesn't really feel like Christmas, and not in a bad way, but in a way of Mime Huffs, kind of like what you celebrate on Facebook or you know you get to celebrate the year, or takes you back a year and all your memories of all your posts. But it's like that, but in full speed, and I feel like I'm just jumping everywhere and I'm trying not to put it all together so quickly Because I keep hearing in the back of my head don't rush this process. This is all for a greater purpose, but it's weird.
Speaker 1:I'm looking forward to, you know, with my family for Christmas. We do Christmas Eve, christmas Day and my brother's coming to town in a couple days, so then I'll come back out to my parents and see them with the kiddos and unwrap presents, although for us, my parents, we do things a little differently. We all focus on just buying for the grandkids or the nephews. My parents will usually buy us something, but this year was our trip to Arizona because my dad really wanted to see the Grand Canyon. So we went a few months ago, back in September, and that was an absolutely amazing trip again a surprise trip, the experiences, the adventures, the adrenaline, all of it.
Speaker 1:And so there's no expectations of gifts for us, at least the grown people. But I always tell my parents we're too old for gifts, you don't need to do that. Am I grateful for receiving anything? Of course, but we buy our parents gifts along with the kids. That's just always been the rule of thumb, I guess. So we'll do that. And then my mom comes up with these creative games she kind of steals off of, I think well, I think they're now on Facebook, but I think they originally came from TikTok and she plays them with the grandkids.
Speaker 1:Anything that involves money my nephews are all for. But even then I had asked them back during Thanksgiving. I said what do you guys want for Christmas, not a word. Now, last year and the years before that they had no problem taking my phone, going through Amazon and ordering, no matter what the price was. But this year it seems like everyone's just content and happy with what they have and it's a beautiful day and I love that. I love every part of that. So it's different. So even that's different. So where are you Christmas? Well, christmas is always in here.
Speaker 1:I may not have decorated my home, I may not have put up my Christmas trees, but it's okay. I'm not shaming myself, I don't feel guilty, I just feel and I had time and I could have done it. I just felt like it just wasn't right and I didn't know what that quite meant. And I still don't, but I know it'll come to me later and again, I just go with it. I trust in even the unknown, what I can't see or what I can't hear. I still trust in it.
Speaker 1:But I'm out of school for the next two weeks and that has been lovely, because usually the first two days, which is kind of what's been going on, is sleeping, you just sleep. I don't think my body has ever loved sleep more. I feel like I'm reverting, like Benjamin Buck, reverting back to my high school days where I could sleep 10 hours. I feel like I'm reverting like Benjamin Buck, reverting back to my high school days where I could sleep 10 hours. Now, during the work year, I would be lucky if I'd have five hours. That was kind of like my max minimum. Five to six hours is my sleep, but lately I just stay in bed and I'm just enjoying sleep, sleep, sleep.
Speaker 1:So what are you guys doing for your holiday? What's your special treat? Do you go somewhere? We actually, because it's Christmas Eve. We have this other tradition, kind of like a Christmas story, where we order Chinese food. So we don't have to do the whole big cooking and everything. That's Christmas. I think it's Christmas that we do that. I'm not sure I get it all backwards. What are the others? So that's usually our big thing that my mom likes to do, which I find humor in that, because I think last year we tried to do it, but we did it on the wrong day where nothing was open, and I think my mom really thought that everything would be open. Then we were all looking at each other like, okay, who's going to make a sandwich? Because we're starving. But it gave us a lot of laughs.
Speaker 1:Now I tend to pack a bag and even though my parents do live in the suburbs it's literally about 30 feet away I sleep over just because it's later and it's darker out earlier. I just tend to like to, you know, endure dogs. There's three dogs and they lay on top of you. So I like the torture, I guess I should say, but I'll sleep over, spend the night, go home, clean my house, do my thing, catch up on life, do this, do my other projects, and I've set goals. That's what I'm doing and I won't talk about that until next episode. But I have intentions, and by intentions I mean there's a shift. The shift is the north and south nodes. So I'm not sure if you know much about your birth chart, but I've been diving into it and I've realized and I got a message coming in that the north and south nodes are shifting, which to me means that my south node is Pisces, my north node is Virgo and now they're flipping. So now I'm going into my north node is Virgo and now they're flipping. So now I'm going into leading into my more Virgo and I'm learning.
Speaker 1:That's more of my OCD, I guess I should say. It's creating lists, it's setting goals, it's going with the gusto and focusing on tasks or body, which is funny and ironic, because ever since I started healing, I've been going back and forth with my body and it dawned on me that I don't know why I was being so hard on myself, because it's only been a little over three months since my surgery and here in my mind, which ties along with Christmas, where did all this time go? To me, it feels like I've been back at work for the whole year. It feels like I've had this surgery last year, but literally it's been, I think, about three and a half months of recovery and a major surgery. And I'm over here, just uncomfortable, unaligned, but aligned with my body, and I try to make sense of all of it.
Speaker 1:When I say peel back layers, like it's just you peel back one and it's something different. It's either your mind, your body, your soul, your spirit, your heart, your energy, your memories, your past lives. Everything is at the forefront and it's keeping me still in this quiet state which reminds me, takes me back to 2020, of that stillness, that beginning, of when you are alone in your thoughts. You're like, oh God, this time it's a little different, obviously, because I'm not. Oh God, I get it, but there's that little chip, that little part of that old ego that wants to, you know, go away. That just wants you to feel that for a second, feel those feelings, and it's just like I don't have time, I don't want to be in my ego, you know, I don't want to be in that wounded space, but there serves a greater purpose for that. So I feel it, I sit in it, it's the fun, but I'm learning from it and exposing me and bringing me back to those moments and those times in deep reflection.
Speaker 1:I think is a way of releasing everything and finally letting everything go of my past. And it's a whole hard-hitting lesson and challenge. Lately, especially the past couple days, it's really been heavy Past memories coming up and old wills, not things that I thought I healed, but things that I tended to and knew eventually that they would come to a place of healing. So here I am and it's time for me to let it all go. I'm doing it. I'm just not sure how to do that exactly. I mean, I've prayed on it, I've cried about it, I've laughed about it, I've journaled. There I am. Where are you Christmas? Where are those Christmas miracles. I know where they're at. They're right here. I'm one of them.
Speaker 1:So this episode's short but sweet. I thank you for the journey and I thank you for sitting with me. I hope, wherever you are in the world that you're celebrating in, however, in whatever, in whichever way you celebrate, whatever religious experience, you have no adjustment here. I hope that you're having an amazing, magical day. I hope, if you do celebrate Christmas, that you're with loved ones and that you're safe and that you're happy. I believe in miracles, so I pray for the miracles of those that are less fortunate. We hope they get a Christmas that they can never expect but should expect, because they're worthy of receiving and they're seen and heard and loved by the universe. I hope Christmas miracles are transpiring all over the world, especially within your own home. So, from me to you, I love you. Happy holidays or Merry Christmas, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, merry Christmas.