Infinite Love with Kate
My self-healing journey, living with a facial difference and acknowledging I was drowning in my own darkness. Realizing everything I was doing in my past, wasn’t quite aligning with who I desired to be & feel, so I started changing the trajectory of my future by choosing to sit within & feel everything I was so scared to feel. I simply let go and surrendered to the process & trusted in myself & chose me!
Infinite Love with Kate
S5: Ep: 74 "Existential Echoes"
Imagine facing the quirky challenges of Chicago's unpredictable weather, only to find profound insights into life's mysteries during a late-night car wash. That's the unexpected journey we're embarking on in this episode. We navigate through sleepless nights filled with contemplation about the potential changes in social media landscapes, like the possible shutdown of TikTok, and how these shifts could catalyze growth and innovation. We also dream about a future where resources are redirected to fight homelessness, poverty, and mental illness, and entertain the idea of creating an expansive animal sanctuary as a personal passion project.
Balancing self-care with life’s demands can feel like a tightrope walk, and we’re here to explore how prioritizing oneself is not just beneficial but essential. Honest conversations can be challenging, especially in a polarized world. We delve into the art of engaging in respectful dialogue, recognizing when it's time to walk away from unproductive discussions, and how staying true to oneself can lead to healthier interactions. We'll share the transformative power of self-awareness and personal growth as you learn to nurture relationships and cultivate a more balanced life.
A stranger’s unexpected breakfast gesture touched us deeply, inspiring a heartwarming conversation on the ripple effects of kindness. This simple act of generosity sparked the urge to pay it forward, reinforcing the belief that love and kindness can create significant change in the world. We reflect on how personal experiences with emotional numbness and the journey to sobriety have led to a deeper self-understanding and appreciation for life's simple joys. Get ready to celebrate the beauty of self-discovery and the profound impact of extending kindness in a world often overshadowed by power and greed. Join us as we navigate through growth, healing, and the transformative power of love.
Disclaimer: I am. ot a therapist, I am just sharing my self healing journey. What may work for me may not work for you, use your discernment.
Welcome back to another episode of Infinite Love with Kate Me. So I've taken a little ride on the wild side of thinking, of pondering. I know it's crazy, but my human self has been asking a lot of questions, stuff that my soul knows already, but there's just so many layers I've been wanting to peel back. So you get to join me on an episode of what in the God's Name Am I Thinking? Buckle in.
Speaker 1:But before we begin, welcome to Chicago weather. It is a heat wave that's going on over here. I know, I know what you're thinking A heat wave in Chicago during the winter. I'm being facetious, but if you're from the Midwest, you know what that means. That means you went from negative degrees last week to 50 degrees today. So yes, to us that is a heat wave, because there's nothing better than the sun shining bright, you walking out and just sweatpants and a hoodie and enjoying life. So that's our heat wave and I'm sticking to it and I'm loving every part of it.
Speaker 1:In fact, I actually took my car for a wash for the first time in God knows how long I'm going to take accountability for this. It's been a while, so I almost forgot what to do. Yeah, I mean, I'm embarrassed to say it, but I gotta own it. I had to roll down the window and ask the. Yeah, I mean I'm embarrassed to say it, but I got to own it. I had to roll down the window and ask the guy, like can I use my debit card? I just didn't want to get stuck in the lines and those things are a little intimidating. I'm not going to lie, going through one of those and making sure it's done the right way. I don't know. I'm going to share the story, embarrass my father, but he went in one of those and mistakenly was it a rush and opened his door and not realizing that the machine had come forward so it had to go back, so it bent his door. Yes, it's happened to my father and that man knows a lot. So if it can happen to him, it so can happen to his favorite child, me. But anyways, on a serious side, do I have time to be serious? Okay, okay. But so the questions I have I had to write them down because there were so many and I don't just mean I sat down and threw up a million questions all at once, I'm talking.
Speaker 1:This was going on for the past couple days. I have been waking up in between 2 and 3 am every day this week, except for last night. Last night I slept like a baby, but I know that there's a lot going on. There's a lot of shifting and transformations going on, a lot of changes, and I could feel that energetically. That is so I was in my car, or at work, or at home, or in the car wash and I was just coming up with these questions about life and it dawned on me. I was like, okay, so there's a lot of critical thinking going on, there's a lot of perspectives and perceptions. Why not just ask the world, see what you think, see if I could take you to places where my mind was going, and if I do, drop me a message, let me know.
Speaker 1:I'm intrigued because I've been asking these questions based upon conversations I've been having or observing, and I love it. You know, before I probably wouldn't have said I loved it because a lot of that stuff would trigger me, but it doesn't, because I'm looking at these questions from a multitude of perspectives, not just mine, but from the world, and it's a beautiful, beautiful way to look at life, especially with the way the world is working these days. You know, I know that the biggest topic right now for some, or at least from my observation is the worry about TikTok. You know, being shut down, and people obviously do their work on TikTok. That's their business and it scares them and I always look at it as like if one door shuts, closes, it's meant to happen. It's meant to push you into a new direction. It's meant to inspire you and motivate you to come up with something new.
Speaker 1:I personally think of it as gratitude. The platform has helped me in so many ways. It's allowed me to heal in so many ways, but it's also allowed me to share in so many beautiful ways and connect with people and allow them the opportunity to not only walk their journey with me, start walking the journey for themselves. And what an honor, what a blessing. That wasn't what I was expecting, but it's something I'm grateful for. So it doesn't scare me, I'm not afraid. You know messages are meant to be heard however they come across. So whatever I do with my time afterwards, it's for a divine purpose, for a greater purpose. So I hold out hope that they won't shut it down, but if they do, they do. I just hope it's not mass hysteria, honestly, because then we have to really take a step back and see why we're so afraid.
Speaker 1:I know that that app tells more truth than most media news outlets. I know that that scares our government. I know that the world around us is based on power and greed and people are starting to wake up to that. I mean we should have been woken up to that a long time ago. I mean we should have been woken up to that a long time ago. But people are starting to act upon it Now. Do I agree with how they're acting upon it? No, but I understand where people are coming from. I understand that we could literally heal the world with the billions of dollars that people own and have. We could literally transform and change the lives of the homeless, of the poor, of those addicted mental illness. I mean animal shelters no, that's always my goal to just create the biggest and best animal sanctuary ever.
Speaker 1:But it's a fear, and it's a fear and it's a realization that power means a lot to some people. It shouldn't. I mean you can have it all one minute and literally lose it all in one second. What does that say for yourself? What does that mean to you? So, like I said, this is where my mind goes, and it's all based upon feeling everyone's energies around me, observing everyone's energies around me and also reflecting within my own energy, because I too am a part of this beautiful divine connection. So let's get questions, all right?
Speaker 1:So the first thing I came up with was why do we make the choices we make, knowing they will impact our journey for the better or for worse? So it kind of ties along with what I just brought up. Why do we make those choices If we know that it's going to hurt somebody or our own self? Why do we still make those decisions? Is it based out of conditioning? Is it out of fear? Is it out of addiction? Is it out of lack? So we have to replenish thinking that we need more.
Speaker 1:Because when I look at things like I'm going to speak a little bit about that CEO of an insurance company that was just recently and Billion Dollar Corporation, he's the CEO. He makes billions of dollars off the lives of others. There has to be a point or a time in his life that he has to look in that mirror and wonder who he became. When did he sell himself short? Where did life take that turn? Because I'm going to say and this is my perspective, and you don't have to agree that no healed version of you could do such a thing to others. You have an ego. Therefore you are unhealed, and there's no way in the world you would let innocent children or adults or teenagers die while you're making millions off them and they're suffering. Again, my perspective Now is it my perspective and understanding that someone like Elon Musk, who has billions, why can't he fix the world with? I mean, the man is talented. Why not fix the world with his imagination, with his smart? Why not create a solution to the water problems in Michigan? Why not build housing developments for the poor in California? I mean, it's everywhere. I'm not trying to just single out California, but why not provide all this?
Speaker 1:And I read somewhere where someone made a comment of well, it's not their job to do that. You're absolutely right, it's not. I'm not expecting anyone to do it, but I could tell you that if you came from a very healed place, you would just do something like that. That would be your goal and your intention. But we obviously know that that's not the intention of a lot of people, people around us, people we live with, people in our environment, at our job. And that's where my observation goes, and I know that obviously a lot of it has to do with my own healing and I know that I was a part of that system, a part of that problem per se of falling short because I was exposing all of my unhealed versions of myself. But that's the accountability right there too.
Speaker 1:So, which is why I think I'm sitting in reflection now, is not judging, because everyone has their journey, everyone chose their path and everyone can make their choice for themselves, a free will choice to go right, go left, go up, go down, left, go up, go down, and then, along the way, you can utilize the resources given to you. Whether you run into a specific person or an angel or someone can offer you something. Do you take it without thinking about it, do you accept it without questioning it, do you take the leap without fearing? You know there's so many things that create our X, ys and Zs, and before I probably would say that I would just jump right into everything without thinking about the repercussions or the consequences or the pain or the damages, anything, always just holding that hope that it was always just going to go right, naive, sure, unhealed, done. And now I think more.
Speaker 1:So I can't say I'm perfect, because I'm not. I still find myself in different situations where I do have to learn a lesson. Am I mad at myself? No, it's amazing where I'm at now, in the sense of the logic, the reasoning, the storyline that goes behind it, before I just jump into the unknown, I don't know All right. So the question is if we know there's a pattern or a cycle that we're constantly in loop, repeating, why do we still do it? What lesson are we not learning? Or why are we choosing to ignore the lesson? Now I'm going to say that a lot of this has to do with well, at least for me.
Speaker 1:When I was younger, I was oppositional, I was angry, I was naive and mostly I was immature, or, better words, didn't care, even though within I cared, my exterior, I just didn't care. Even though within I cared my exterior, I just didn't care. Didn't care what the consequences were, didn't care. It was as if I was living life on the edge and didn't care whether it went well or went bad. You know, um, but this was at a stage in my life where being alive didn't feel so good. So the only opposite thing to think about was death, and it was a battle. You know, it's like the good angel and the bad angel and you sit there and you question and you wonder about life. I don't know. I just I knew the patterns, but I was weak and I would be very blunt and honest.
Speaker 1:In high school, my insecurities brought me to levels I don't ever care to, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever go back to, which is jealousy, manipulation, all of it, love bombing, all of it. That exemplified fear. I was so afraid, so afraid to lose friendships, so afraid to be alone, so afraid to face myself in the mirror, so afraid to live. It's as if I was just walking in fear my whole teenage years and it was probably my darkest I've ever been in life. The depths I took, my darkness and as I got older, you know, especially in the last four years, I realized that instead of hating myself in the darkness, it was learning to love that version of my darkness and accepting that it was there and then healing, healing it to know that I don't ever have to do those things again, I don't ever have to be that person again, but love and appreciate that person for who she was, for who she was protecting herself from. That's all I could do.
Speaker 1:But for the longest time I was literally hating, loathing that dark side of me. I was embarrassed, shameful of it, and I didn't quite understand how to fix that version of me or even realize that that version of me could be healed, because I shouldn't say fix, it just sounds like we're broken, we're not, we're just, we're beautiful unhealed souls. Realize that that version of me could be healed, because I don't. I shouldn't say fixed, it just sounds like we're broken, we're not, we're just, we're beautiful unhealed souls. And that's what I just needed to acknowledge. I let the darkness overshadow the light that was already within me and once I let that light back in, I saw, I put all the pieces together with everything I always said my life was intertwined amongst many beautiful things and I could never quite explain what that meant until I started pulling back the layers of every portion of myself Mind, body, soul, heart, spirit, energy, spirit energy. When I started doing that, it's when I started seeing me for me, the layers, the depths from my younger ages to me now, and I love that version of me, even if this version of me triggers people, even if I don't quite always feel like I belong, I'm not meant to, it's okay.
Speaker 1:I stand alone in some parts of my life, and that's okay. I don't carry on all the friendships I used to have because I don't need to be seen, and it's okay. I do things for myself in not a selfish manner, but I do things to make sure that myself that I'm pouring back into my cup. I don't expect anyone else to do that for me, whereas before I was always relying on that. I don't need that. Is it nice? Is it welcome? Sure, but I like the balance. I like the balance between all my relationships now. I like the balance at work, at home, with family, with friends, with connections, all of it. It's healthier and it felt different at first, but I love it, as long as I know I'm not isolating myself and saying no to people when I should be saying yes. But I don't feel like I'm isolating. I feel like I'm just protecting myself and allowing myself to, you know heal, allowing myself to rest, allowing myself to refuel and recharge.
Speaker 1:Coming from a special ed teaching position, being out in the open, exposed to all the different emotions, the layers, the behaviors, everything takes a toll on you, energetically as well as physically. So I make sure that I go home and I pour back into myself, and self-care is important for everyone, not just me. Everybody should be pouring into themselves with self-care and self-love all the time. Don't ever doubt that. Don't ever neglect yourself. Don't ever wait for someone to do it for you either. Do it for yourself. It's a whole different world when you start dating yourself, when you start appreciating who you are and giving yourself those things without shaming yourself, without feeling guilty like, oh God, I just spent that much money. No fears, no fears. Put that sword down. That much money. No fears, no fears. Put that sword down. Let that all in. You deserve it. You're worthy. Let me hear you say it I am worthy, all right.
Speaker 1:Next question what makes having an honest conversation so difficult and scary for people Now, especially with the way the world is going these days? Politics, right, not an easy topic. Nor do I always jump into it. I would say 95% of the time I won't, because I have learned to listen, to feel, to reflect and then to make that decision. Pick your your battles wisely. I don't need to have a difficult conversation with you if it's only one-sided.
Speaker 1:Now there are many people, especially with politics, that are only one-sided. I will listen to you. I'm not a fan of Donald Trump, but I will listen to you. It doesn't mean you're going to sway me. So if you're sitting there trying to tell me like I need to feel this way with anything, it doesn't even have to be politics you will never, ever, anyone will ever come back into my life and tell me how to think, how to feel, how to behave, how to act, how to do. Yeah, I'm not one to be controlled. You can't. So, if that's anyone's intention, keep moving, keep walking along. I don't desire to be controlled, I don't desire to be manipulated. It just doesn't work that way Human connection, keeping things balanced, but keeping things honest and real.
Speaker 1:Now, why is it so hard to have an honest conversation? Well, one you have to really ask yourself are you honest? Are you coming from a healed version or an unhealed version? Is that other person that you're talking to coming from a healed place or an unhealed place? Are you someone that reacts? Are you someone that responds, and by response I mean sometimes walking away without saying anything? You got to read the room, people. It's the only way, and we're already struggling in a world of hate, of division, a world where war is already at play. Do you really think you're going to make a change by throwing your ego into the conversation? I'm right, you're wrong. We're already off balance. We're already off balance. We're already going nowhere.
Speaker 1:I was just telling someone that you can't expect change to take place. One, if you don't listen. Two, if you don't have respect for yourself or for others. Three, if you go in so hungry, so thirsty with your ego that you're screaming and dictating and yelling and fighting, you go from here to here in a matter of seconds. It won't work. It's never going to work. That goes within the household, that goes in relationships, that goes with friendships, that goes with work relationships. That goes within society, with strangers, with community. You cannot think or expect to make change, positive change.
Speaker 1:Then someone asks well, what if that other person is so one-sided and they're just pure evil Meaning? I'll give an example they're irate, they're yelling, they're screaming, they're belittling you, okay, well, do you still want to continue a conversation? Will you get anywhere? If you do continue a conversation with them? Walk away. Just simply say thank you for your time. But this conversation of being the bigger person when you come from a healed place I'm not insinuating that you should start violence or have a violent reaction to someone who's already violent. I mean, you have to defend yourself no matter what. But I'd rather walk away because you can't change them.
Speaker 1:You can try and you can still stay within your space of love, integrity, honesty. You can still choose to be you in all of that without ever having to change, because someone can't reflect back to you. But you can mirror to them what they should see and it may trigger the hell out of them and that's good. It's good to trigger somebody, as much as it's uncomfy. It's really good to trigger somebody because what the universe wants for them is to heal that part of them that's triggered and that's up to them. But it's not your job. You cannot do the work for them. You have to just hope, pray and continue to hold space with love for those people. That's all you can do. But more good can come out of the world if we continue to do the work within ourselves.
Speaker 1:Now should you go gung-ho, go healing the world? But you're not healed. You're only making it worse for yourself, because now you're reflecting something that you aren't, and that's where the honest conversations come in. I've been there, coming from a very unhealed version of me. My conversations weren't always honest, when I wasn't feeling right or when something made me feel out of alignment. I could have easily said those things, but it scared me more to say that in a moment in fear, in fear of hurting the other person, in fear of losing a connection, in fear of feeling, even though I was already feeling unaligned, and that was uncomfortable. So make that make sense. Right, but it's what we do. Make that make sense right, but it's what we do, it's what we do. So hold those honest conversations.
Speaker 1:Now, when you're honest with someone, should you just go straight for their jugular without any empathy or love to go behind it? No, because that's still coming from a non-healed version of you. If you cannot communicate without empathy and compassion and you're going straight for their jugular, it's just going to go back and forth, pain, pain on pain. Now, if you say something and that person is triggered, that's theirs. Let it be theirs, just like. If you're triggered, it's yours. Sorry, you can't point the finger and blame somebody else. You're triggered, not for what they said, from what you feel, and go dive deep within yourself and see where that comes from. But stop expecting the world to do the work and then you do nothing, that won't work either. I mean, unless that's the kinds of relationships you want to build, so be it, but I won't be a part of that, all right.
Speaker 1:Last question why do we push people away? Is it self-sabotage, is it fear? What are we so afraid of when we let people in, when we actually truly authentically let people in? What does that feel like? Is it something you've never felt before? Or is it something you felt, but someone else already did the damage?
Speaker 1:So now you tend to run to, to push, to go numb. I mean, we, I'm sure at one point we've all done it, we've all pushed people away out of fear, out of not understanding what it was we were feeling, out of feeling overwhelmed by a connection, by a friend, by a soul, by anyone. It's easier to push away than it is to allow anything to come in and hurt you, right? I mean, I've been there, done that. So why do we do the things we do and why not go with it and reflect Again more questions for the soul? So why do we do the things we do and why not go within and reflect again More questions for the soul?
Speaker 1:So you see, this is where I was all week. And there's a million more, I'm not going to lie. There are a million more questions, but I think I've taken you far enough on a journey of pondering. So ask yourself where am I at in life? Where am I within this world, within these connections, within this human design? Where do I stand? How many layers are there to peel up in, and not just for ourselves, but for the world, trust me? Then there's the conspiracy theories. Don't get me started, but do you ask yourself questions or do you just carry on in life?
Speaker 1:Here's a fun question how many times during the week do you wonder where the day went, but you never ask yourself where was I during the day, that I can't even remember where the day went, and that tells you right there that you lack being present in the moment. See, some of us and I'm guilty when I didn't care for life and how it was going because it wasn't going my way, you wish today away. You really do, and you're wishing the moments away, but in that, during that time frame, I was not present for anything. I was running from my emotions and feelings, because in the beginning, I was running from doing the work. I began doing the healing work.
Speaker 1:But there was this one pause, this one moment where I just went completely numb and I could not explain it for the life of me, until one day I figured it all out, but I couldn't believe how numb I went, like I couldn't feel anything and I didn't even see that coming. I didn't even know what that was or why it hit me, but I literally went numb. It's as if I was channeling and feeling somebody else who was numb. There was no explanation as to why, because I was already doing the's, as if I was channeling and feeling somebody else who was numb. There was no explanation as to why because I was already doing the work, so I was already feeling the feelings of everything. So why, abruptly, would I not feel anything? Why would I just go numb?
Speaker 1:But it did serve a greater purpose because at the time it allowed me to pull myself away for a reason that I really had to. I had to really pull myself away from all connections, from everyone, because I was about to experience the darkest of moments of healing that I didn't see coming and I wasn't ready for it. But the universe is like I'm, and I wasn't ready for it, but universe is like I'm going to make you ready for it. So I went numb and I disappeared and I pulled away and, yes, I was still living my life, but I can't tell you a lot about like a timeframe, because I was there but I wasn't. It's the hardest thing to explain. And there's like a time frame because I was there but I wasn't. It's it's the hardest thing to explain and it there's like a huge, like a good chunk, a gap during my self-healing that it doesn't make sense. It literally doesn't make sense, because it feels like so much time has passed but yet none. Like looking back now with my heels off, looks like there was no time to pass. But as I obviously pull up the dates and everything and I'm doing all of my projects and I'm like, yeah, we're about to be at 2025. Okay, that what? That's three years, that's over three years, you know and I'm like, hey, but where's, where's this little, this little pocket of time? Where was I?
Speaker 1:And numb, I was numb and then it was like I hit a brick wall of darkest feelings and moments and memories of my past and I think the universe said I don't want you to experience everything at once. I know you feel this aching right here, but we're going to pause that, we're going to numb you and we're going to have you feel different things from your childhood. And then everything unraveled. And there were times I mean, I found myself on the ground just screaming and wishing that I didn't choose this journey, because once you begin the journey, you really can't jump off the healing journey. I mean you can, but I think the only way to do that for me in my mind would be like literally to jump into alcohol and drugs.
Speaker 1:But alcohol was doing the opposite effect for me. It wasn't numbing me, it was amplifying all my emotions, all my memories, all my feelings. Does that make sense? Because I know a lot of people utilize it to numb themselves, and here it was doing the opposite. So I was like you know what? We're going to quit drinking, we're going to stop all that, we're going to just stay sober. And I wasn't a huge drinker anyways, but it did a number on me for all the times I ever drank in my past when I was going through something tumultuous. It really amplified my emotions and I wasn't really proud of those moments.
Speaker 1:I'm happier because I don't drink and I'm greater for it, because when I do feel the things I have to feel. I let them, I let myself feel out. I don't run, I don't hide, I don't mask anything. It's like I feel those All right, they're uncomfortable Okay. Mask anything. It's like I feel those, all right, they're uncomfortable Okay. Would it be an emotional day? Sure, let's do it. I think my co-workers are like I'm nuts, but I welcome, I don't shame myself for how I feel, not anymore.
Speaker 1:So basically, I went through all these changes the last four years that, if you were to look at it, it's like a freaking roller coaster ride of chaos and it really, really taught me a lot about self-love and about healing and self-care and truly, truly pouring back into yourself. And for me it was taking myself on dates. I did a staycation in the city, spent good money on a hotel and tickets to an orchestra concert, just stuff that I would thoroughly enjoy, and I just, I really treated myself. And then this year alone which I'll get more into in a later episode, but just treating myself to vacations and adventures, stuff I really enjoy and I don't feel guilty about or shame myself, I'm just happy. Now, can I do this all the time? I'm sure I mean I can, but I don't need to. How about that? Yes, I can take myself on many vacations. I don't need to. I just I listen to what my soul needs in the moment. And this year alone I did exactly what my soul needs. And right now my soul just wants to be a homebody, it wants to stick around and like I feel like something's brewing, something big is coming and I'm excited. I don't know what it is, I'm just kind of going along for the ride, like today was a beautiful gift, today was a heat wave, so how can you complain?
Speaker 1:But this whole weekend was great. I was blessed. I was out with a co-worker. We went out to breakfast. After we did a couple things, we went shopping and I convinced her. I was like, let's go out for breakfast, let's just sit. I really wanted breakfast. It was the afternoon but I really wanted breakfast.
Speaker 1:So we went over and we were sitting down at the restaurant and this cute, sweet woman was like calling my friend over. So my friend, she's like you know, girl, I don't want to get up, but she gets over and she goes over to her and then she sits back down and she tells me she's like she's buying our breakfast for us and I just smiled and was like that is the sweetest thing, like this woman doesn't even know us. We literally just sat down. She called my friend over my coworker, and she was just like I want to buy you, girls, your breakfast. And my friend was beside herself.
Speaker 1:She's like, oh, she's like you can tell it's like uncomfortable. And I was asking her I'm like does it make you uncomfortable when someone does something nice for you? She's like, yeah, I said because you're not used to it. I'm like you probably give, which she does. I mean she always gives me these cute little random gifts all the time. And I told her, I said I'm the same way. I'm like, until I learn to appreciate, I said it's still uncomfortable, it still is awkward because you want to give back. Because in fact what I was doing was I was going to treat my friend to breakfast because it was my idea.
Speaker 1:So it's funny how the universe works that way. You know, it's the universe saying you know what you both are. Good, I got you, and so the woman paid. So then we realized we weren't sure if she gave a tip. So I ended up buying like a lemonade and then I was like well, let's pay it forward.
Speaker 1:So we gave the girl an extra big tip and we both agreed. We said at the same time, we're like we have to pay it forward. So we gave the girl an extra big tip and we both agreed. We said at the same time, we're like we have to pay it forward. You know, it's always good to spread that love and no matter what season, what time of the year it is, it's always good to just pay things forward Because you're blessed and you don't do it for the blessings, you do it for love and kindness. And spreading love and kindness, because that is what changes the world, not greed, not power. Love and kindness, doing the work for yourself, doing that inner work, that shadow work, healing yourself to then spread that wild. So before I end this wonderful random episode of what in the what was I thinking, I just want to say thank you and I love you, take care.