Infinite Love with Kate
Infinite Love with Kate
S5: Ep: 71 "Say What You Need to Say"
What if expressing your truth meant transforming your relationships and personal growth journey? In this heartfelt episode of Infinite Love with Kate, I open up about my personal evolution, revealing the powerful lessons learned from embracing authentic communication. Through stories of facing my fears and choosing empathy over manipulation, we unravel why speaking honestly is often so challenging. Join me on this reflective path as I share how intuition has guided me in selecting the right teachers and the courage required to walk away from those who no longer align with our true selves.
Together, we'll tackle the complexities of self-expression, especially in the face of challenging personalities like narcissists. Drawing from personal experiences, I discuss how recognizing our own triggers and communicating with integrity can turn confrontations into lessons of compassion and growth. With a focus on accountability, stemming from my family's teachings, we ponder whether silence is serving or stifling us and how to responsibly voice our truths. This episode offers a thoughtful exploration of staying true to oneself and the transformative power of heartfelt communication.
Hi, welcome to Infinite Love with Kate. I told you I was in the works changing everything up and here I am going live Finally. It's been a long time coming. So now, while you're listening, you could go to my YouTube channel, click on my link and follow, subscribe and share, or you can continue to listen on all platforms, whichever you prefer. But I wanted to put myself out there. You guys have been listening to my voice for long enough and I figured it was time. I do quite a few guest speaking spots on other people's podcasts, so I said why not at least try to dabble with this? Get my feet wet, get comfortable, so sit back, relax and enjoy another episode of Infinite Love with Kate.
Speaker 1:So for today's episode, I just want to unravel something that's been on my mind honestly, and it's say what you need to say. I know it's a loaded phrase, but I'm at the point in my life where I've done a lot of the healing work and I'm not perfect by any means. But I always come up with the question of why can't people just say what they need to say or say what they mean to say? Why does it have to be a game? Why does it have to be manipulation. Why does it have to be this huge ordeal of trying to figure out what it is? People are trying to say and I'm guilty as well are trying to say and I'm guilty as well Prior to doing any shadow work, any healing work, I was exactly that person. So I take full accountability that I was that person. I was afraid to say the things I wanted to say. There was always fear and I had to figure out where that came from. So that's kind of what's been on my mind is not so much as unraveling others and what they need to say, but just in general, say what you mean to say. You only live life once. So I continue to walk the path of confusion, fear, abandonment. Why not just say the things you mean to say?
Speaker 1:Now, there's a way of saying things. For sure, I recently have endured some people that have a little chip on their shoulder and obviously, yes, it's ego. But there's a way to say things with empathy, with compassion, with love, and you don't have to by any means. But I know for myself I could choose to walk away with my head held high and that's not my ego, it's not my pride, it's just that I just don't align with that. I don't align with how you're coming at me or how you think you're teaching me. It's just not mine, not mine to bear, and personally I'm at a place where I know how I like to be taught.
Speaker 1:I know when things excite me, when I want to learn. That's what drives people, inspires people per se, is you captivate them, you gravitate them, you excite them with your teachings. And if you can't do that, instead you bully them. You're not teaching anyone, you're not doing God's work, you're not doing anyone's work, You're doing your own ego's work. And it's not exciting, it's not enticing, it doesn't make me want to stick around and learn from you. And I've had quite a few teachers growing up, some that were absolutely extraordinary, some not so much, and those are the ones you know that are run by their own ego or their own God, complex, whatever it may be.
Speaker 1:But there comes a point in your life when you know intuitively when to walk away, when to hold them, when to fall. So that was something that's been kind of coming up for me lately is my experiences with others, the alignment or disalignment, and I sit there and I evaluate it, I evaluate myself, I go through it Because I again, I'm not perfect. So I have to ask myself the same questions. Is it my ego, is it something I'm missing, or is it them? How do I feel when I'm confronted by them? Okay, if I don't feel comfortable, if I don't feel good, I don't feel an enlightenment, then it's not my ego, it's not my pride, it's just that we are in two different places of our lives and it's time to walk away.
Speaker 1:So why don't people just say what they mean to say? Why does everything have to be layered? And I don't mean just layered in details where you're trying to figure everything out. I'm talking layered in the sense of their own healing work. I can't do your work, I can't do your healing, your work, I can't do your healing. So if you're not saying what you need to say and that's just this mindset that you want me to figure it out on my own, I just I'm clearly not getting it, you know. Then I sit with it. And if I had to sit with it for too long, it's just to me not worth it, because now I'm wasting time sitting with this notion that you want me to figure something out. And again, I know the world works in a domino effect, you're led by one, who's led by another, who's led by another.
Speaker 1:So I don't know if anyone's going to connect with this episode or not, but it's just something, like I said, that's been on my mind. It's been interesting, the things I've been witnessing and observing or experiencing, and it's really had me self-reflecting and really going deep within and asking myself is this where I want to be? Because usually, when you're not in alignment with people, with your surroundings, with events, it tells you it's time right, it's time to let it go, it's time to step away or it's time to make those moves or those changes. And that's exactly what I've been doing lately quietly too, because I don't owe anyone an explanation. I don't and sometimes it's better to keep things to yourself.
Speaker 1:When you're making those moves, especially those positive moves, the world doesn't need to know and you don't need the world to validate you for the choices you're making. It's all free will. So you're right Making these changes, making these moves, and clearly one of them is right here, right now, this recording session live Me and you, or I should say me and the device, me and a phone, I and you, or I should say me and the device, me and a phone. I'm here and it might feel uncomfortable, I might feel a little nervous, but I'm putting myself out there and I know this episode isn't going to be the longest. Right now it probably is a bit confusing and I promise you they won't all be confusing, but it was just something that's been on my mind all day and I know it served a greater purpose and maybe it serves a purpose for all of you who are listening.
Speaker 1:Maybe you're experiencing something similar without even knowing it, and maybe you're asking yourself why aren't I not saying the things I mean to say? Is it because I can't say them without judgment? Or I can't say them because there's still fear behind it which triggers my emotions? And, man, I mean, I used to always have that reaction instead of a connection, a response to something someone would say and it wasn't their fault, even though at the time I probably blamed them. That was my ego, that was my wound. It was the trigger, which ultimately is money.
Speaker 1:Just because someone else says something that triggers you, it's not theirs, it's yours. That trigger is meant for you to experience, even if it makes you uncomfortable. Feel it, because you know what Ultimately, you're going to heal it If you allow yourself to feel it, allow yourself to fight with it, sit with it, argue with yourself, argue with it. You're going to heal it and you're going to simply let it go. And then you're going to have another experience, and that experience isn't going to feel as crazy, as chaotic, as painful as the first time you felt triggered. Isn't that what you want for yourself?
Speaker 1:I used to be in the most random situations where I was triggered and I'd have that high-pitched squeal, react to it and sometimes, yes, I was in situations with narcissists. So you can't win those battles, but you know whether or not to speak up for yourself or to walk away, and it's all about just assessing, assessing to speak up for yourself or to walk away, and it's all about just assessing, assessing the moment. Right then and there, what do I feel? Do I feel fight or flight? Am I feeling anxious? Do I feel emotional? Do I really want to have an emotional outburst in front of the world? Okay, no, alright, take a couple deep breaths. I'm going to walk away. They're not letting me walk away. Okay, no, alright, take a couple deep breaths. I'm going to walk away. They're not letting me walk away, okay, well then, I'm going to reiterate I am stepping away.
Speaker 1:You know, if they don't allow me to step away and they're still poking at me, I really know it's theirs. I really know who they are as a person, because those types of people they're out there, they want to entice you, they want to poke at you and poke at you because they know they're going to get a reaction, but they're a blessing in disguise. They're there so you can heal that. That's how I look at it now is go ahead, make my day. You're there to heal me. Thank you, I'm going to walk away. A better person, a stronger person, a more loving person, a compassionate person, a warrior, and you're still going to be in that loop of karma. So I bid you adieu. Have a great day. That's the kind of things I say to myself when I'm in those situations.
Speaker 1:Now, have I been triggered? Yes, will I always be triggered? Of course, but not in ways that I can't handle, unless it's a brand new wound I have not foreseen yet. I mean, I don't wish that upon myself, but I don't know what I've buried deep inside all my life. So I'd like to say that majority of the wounds I've experienced have come up in the last couple of years, because I've really allowed myself to sit with it. But who knows, who knows? So say what you mean to say.
Speaker 1:Are you saying exactly what you would like to say to people, not in fear of hurting them, but also in a proper way? That doesn't have to be so malicious. It may hurt them, but guess what? You may be bringing them a gift, a lesson. And if those people walk away because they can't handle the truth or they can't handle the trigger they weren't meant to be in your life in that moment, it doesn't mean they can't come the truth or they can't handle the trigger. They weren't meant to be in your life in that moment. It doesn't mean they can't come back into your life. It just means that in that moment you both are out of alignment. So why put yourself through that?
Speaker 1:I think the whole world needs to learn this, that it doesn't have to be a constant battle. We don't all see eye to eye. I mean, look at the political debates going on right now. We don't all agree. However, that doesn't mean that we all can't choose kindness and love and self-respect and respect for others.
Speaker 1:Say what you mean to say without having to put others down, because then you're really not saying anything at all. You're using words to load the gun, and the gun is your mouth, is your voice, is your projections of what you're doing to hurt other people. Don't load that gun. Say what you mean to save it with compassion. And that's the biggest thing that I'm learning now is am I always saying what I mean to say? Because there's a reason it comes off, there's a reason. I'm being weird this too.
Speaker 1:So you see, I always find a way to take accountability too. I don't just look at a situation and point my finger and be like you, you, you, you, you, you. No, I find the mirror. The world is our mirror, the world is our teacher. So whenever someone projects something, even if they mean they're teaching you, it's still their projection, it's still their ego. So it's something they need to hear themselves and hopefully it clips with them themselves. But if their ego is so big and their dog complex is coming up, it's a longer road for them, it's more karma for them to face. So I make sure to find that balance of okay. Is it my ego?
Speaker 1:I question myself, and I was taught that at such a young age by my family. Whenever someone would get in trouble, my parents would reflect upon us first what did you do? You had to kind of plead your case. All right, I swear it wasn't me this time. But it taught us accountability. It taught us to take accountability when we know we're in the wrong, which you hope that over time we would not do wrong. But we weren't perfect as kids. I mean I tried to get out of a couple parties I threw Again. Not perfect, just fun.
Speaker 1:So say what you mean to say. That's the lesson, that's the question. Go out there and think about it. Let it sit with you. Are you saying everything you need to say to people? And if you're not saying it, is it for the right reason or is it because you're avoiding? Are you running from it? Are you avoiding those situations on purpose? And if you're not doing that, great, then you're doing it for you. So with that, this is a shorter episode, but I thank you, because this really wasn't what I planned on doing today. I actually had something else in mind, but that question really sat with me and it will. It'll sit with me a little bit further along tonight, but I think I went on to something here, onto something here. I think I'm really seeing and peeling back the layers of why that is the mantra for today. So with that I bid you adieu. I want you all to have an amazing day and I again thank you for this first-time experience of going live solo on Infinite Love with Cheat. Have an amazing and amazing day, take care.