Infinite Love with Kate
Infinite Love with Kate
S5: Ep:69-Part II "Very Demure, Very Mindful, Very Cutesy"
Welcome to Part II of my interview with my friend, my co-worker Ronette Lusby-Brown. Two educators keeping it real on our off hours and letting down our hair and speaking our truths.
What happens when you combine heartfelt storytelling, personal growth, and a splash of fashion humor? Join us for a transformative episode with special guest Ronette Lesby-Brown as we navigate the complexities of life, focusing on themes of healing, self-love, and embracing authenticity. We share personal experiences, including the emotional preparation for a hysterectomy, and how this journey has shifted perspectives on creativity and self-care. Together, we reflect on the significance of gratitude and the small joys in life, from quiet moments of introspection to the simple pleasure of putting on makeup.
From the addictive allure of online shopping on platforms like Amazon and TikTok Shop to the struggle of finding comfort in one's own skin, our conversation takes a playful turn into the world of fashion and body positivity. We humorously tackle the temptations of impulse buying and explore how personal style can be a journey of self-acceptance and newfound confidence. Sharing stories of personal growth, we celebrate the freedom of personal style choices and emphasize the importance of dressing for yourself, whether it's for a special event or just another day.
The episode circles back to profound topics of self-healing and authenticity. We uncover the power of storytelling, exploring how embracing one's unique narrative can teach empathy and kindness, especially to our children. Ronette and I discuss the importance of being genuine, rejecting societal pressures, and focusing on self-love and acceptance. As educators, we also share our passion for teaching and mentoring, highlighting how revisiting childhood passions can ignite new creative paths. Join us as we champion authenticity and patience in pursuing personal and professional growth.
Okay, back at it again. Just as I promised, part two of Infinite Love with Kate, with my special guest, ronette Lesby-Brown If you've been following, you're going to enjoy another long episode of an interview we had Eh, it's not even an interview, a conversation we were having back and forth of two people just kicking it, talking about life, talking about growth and healing, talking about our bodies and self-love. But if you're new to this, I recommend that you go back to part one and enjoy. And also, if you are new to this or you're returning, I appreciate your love and support because obviously I know I've been on a hiatus and this interview, or duet, took place over the summer prior to me finding out that.
Speaker 2:I had to have a hysterectomy.
Speaker 1:So you're going to hear a lot of heavy breathing. I apologize, it is what it is. I tried to do the best editing I could, but we also found a glitch in our microphones during it and it really wasn't worth paying all the extra money because they said they couldn't do much for it. So with the time that I had off, I did the research that I could and did the best editing I could. You can adjust your volume all you want. Bear with me.
Speaker 1:I hope you still enjoy it, because it is definitely worth listening to the humor, the banter, the love, the respect for each other. And also stay tuned for what's coming in the next few weeks, as I finally regain my strength back on my feet, back at work, trying to balance life and also jump back into the creative world for what's to come for season five. So enjoy as we jump back into the conversation, talking about self-reflection in our cars and where that takes us. That is my newest thing this year. That that's my beautiful reflection. Like I'm taking that breath I'm taking as if I have chaos coming in here this house is fine, though it is up, like you know but I'm grateful, and I'm grateful for my home part, yeah, I take my seatbelt off.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I get that left leg sit it up.
Speaker 1:So now, I got one leg up, one leg down and then I'm scrolling yeah on my phone and I. But while I'm doing that, I'm talking to myself, reflecting myself how grateful I am. I'm like man, today was trying, but today was awesome. It ended on a good note, or this is all mine. Yeah, I'm grateful for what I mean, like I've lived there for I don't know, 14 years, 13 years, think, you know. I love it because every day I'll be out there for 20 minutes to 40 minutes forgetting so good.
Speaker 2:Good Now that self care. Yes, oh, yeah I personally don't do that great of a job with self care, but like getting my hair done is therapeutic, that's self care right, even though it costs so much yeah, if you guys know people that you know want to.
Speaker 2:You know, get some free wigs, yes you know, uh, yes, I'm out here just saying right, because I spent a grip for my hair, but I have an amazing hairstylist that it's an art form for her right and I love it. But that self-care for me, yeah, when you get up and you do your makeup every day, I do because it makes me feel beautiful. It's self-care for me, yeah, when you get up and you do your makeup every day, I do because it makes me feel beautiful. It's self-care for me and you know, I'll do my face and I don't even wear foundation, Right?
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:It's just, I like putting on my lashes and I like a cute, shiny lip gloss.
Speaker 1:She does love her lip gloss.
Speaker 2:Yes, and I love my lip bar, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:Lipstick yeah, stays on all day right, but it's just little things like that are therapeutic. Me shopping on amazon what did you see it? I've been, you know, for my trip, and every day is five, six packages.
Speaker 2:I'm like I gotta stop I know my cart has like 357 000 things I know and I put them on hold.
Speaker 1:Am I, do I? I always ask myself do I need it it, do I desire it? Or is this just greed? But everyone's?
Speaker 2:not thinking they'd be slick right. It'd be like there are items in your cart that has a price change. And it'd be like oh, it went from $19.99 to $19.98. You think I'm come on, I'm going to need to.
Speaker 1:Well, that's why I got addicted to TikTok shop. Talk about price cutting.
Speaker 2:I've never ordered off a TikTok shop. Okay, careful, I'm always afraid. Oh, I love it, I love it.
Speaker 1:Everything comes right away. I mean not as fast as obviously Amazon.
Speaker 2:But see, that's my problem. I don't like waiting.
Speaker 1:Well, if you don't mind waiting and you like, the price cuts. But what's the wait? A couple days? Oh okay, it just depends on where it's coming from. It'll tell you too before you say okay. But yeah, tiktok shop.
Speaker 2:Yes, tiktok shop.
Speaker 1:Yeah, like some things are like $4.99. I'm like what, really? Yeah, I just got like an Avroler, one of those things that you land around.
Speaker 2:I bought the stepper machine for my booty and my fast.
Speaker 1:But here's the thing, right, you use it.
Speaker 2:So my mind, and my body are like enemies. You know my song, whatever I have for them to be friends. Oh god, because my mind is like you can do it right, but my body like girl. You don't put that space on. And it sucked you in and keep how do you?
Speaker 1:I've probably a one handful times worn space. I can't breathe. I wear a girdle every day.
Speaker 2:One. I don't want to jiggle. I don't want my booty jiggling in my summer dresses and my clothes, like that's just. I keep it all together.
Speaker 1:You do, but I you're talking the corset from way back in Bridgerton's era you love it I know you would have been, whereas I would have been better off as a dude in a tuxedo, because I could pull that vibe off, but shonda needs to call me like she does be an extra.
Speaker 2:Oh, maybe we could do that. I just want to. Just I just want to be in a dress and like the wigs and okay yeah, that would never.
Speaker 1:I would never. I would have on titanic, I would have just jumped. I would be like, screw it, oh no, take me, take me right to the bottom. I would have been floating on boo. No, with that corset I would jump and go down. Go down with the ship. No, that's just not my, I can't. These are the little signs that I should have always picked up on.
Speaker 1:And how gay I was as a child. Because one hated wearing dresses, hated it. We always wore dresses, everything. Put me in a white dress for a family picnic every year. Come out of that forest preserve, had to tow in dirt because I was like a rough rider and just had to be the tomboy that just rolled down, explore. And yeah, I could. I mean I look good in a dress. I mean I definitely. There's a couple pictures I was showing work. Yeah, I was feeling it. If that's the important part, I was like, damn, you can't put me back in those dresses, I I'll pull it off, but I just no, not comfortable. Once I realized, especially the last year, my comfortability of my fit and I loved that part of me is like coming into my body and knowing what I like and what I feel good in. I was like, oh okay, I'm getting there.
Speaker 1:I love to see that growth like my personal validation. When I get to validate myself, I'm like, yeah, I'm really feeling that myself, myself, I'm like I'm really feeling that myself.
Speaker 2:All right, yeah, I've been thinking those thoughts. Yes me, I throw a dress on. Yeah, I throw jeans on. I'll do dragon pants on. Yeah, it just, I just go with.
Speaker 1:However, I feel that yeah, and then you see me at work and, uh, joggers every day.
Speaker 2:You're like that's what she's feeling listen, listen, it's you right, it is me though it is me, yes, like honest self, like it is totally oh yeah like me.
Speaker 1:And then like, when I get to dress up, like that was the part I was learning. So when I got to dress up for that cruise this year, that's the stuff I've been envisioning, but not knowing what to how to put it together. And then when we said let's do a sneaker ball, I was like, oh, my god, thank you universe, you're giving me that opportunity of how I want to express myself. And I loved it, maybe just a little bit of that tummy wave, but I was like, oh crap, I'm hitting the 44, menopausing time to get all that checked out, but I still loved it. I was like, damn alright, and you felt good about it. Oh, and I already have it in my head like, okay, okay, a lot of this year I wore blazers.
Speaker 1:I was like yeah, I like this.
Speaker 2:I feel it. You did wear a lot of blazers, yeah.
Speaker 1:I liked it, I was loving that, I felt comfortable in it, which I never did before. You ever have those days. I remember a lot in high school and college where nothing fit right and you were just like I'm not going anywhere, I'm just not doing it.
Speaker 1:My clothes, my body was just like okay, I did not have that luxury, I just but it was, it was me. It was the insecurity though I think of I don't know how I identify anything with. I mean, it would be so traumatic where I was like I can't go out.
Speaker 2:I knew not to go out I mean, that's how I felt with my hair, like yeah it's one strand was out of place, like life was over yeah, it's just I'm not but I couldn't understand.
Speaker 1:You know, like I couldn't understand what it was, though that was making me so uncomfortable, I'd see the image in the mirror. I was like, no, this doesn't fit right, or I don't fit right, you know. But I was not anywhere near connected to my body as I am now. So I'm like, oh, it makes sense. 20 years later, you're like I wish you could jump back in your life and be like little girl. You're going to be okay, yeah.
Speaker 2:Like I am thick, shapely, I like it right. This fupa, it's here, it's not going anywhere.
Speaker 1:And.
Speaker 2:I spank it up, I girdle it up, but listen, god knows, he can't make my stomach flat. Yeah, I wouldn't have a job, right, like I would be that girl.
Speaker 1:You wouldn't, no, no.
Speaker 2:I. What do you want? You want me to teach, not today.
Speaker 1:You're like I'm doing something else, something else, what, like? Everything would be crap. So god knows like. And then we're gonna go back to jay-z, jay-z, jay-z's, like girl, we can't give you a flat stomach.
Speaker 2:We already saw your future but I cannot make it too flat. You're going to act out and I can't even get mad at him because I know he's telling the truth. Yeah, he is, because I'm telling him what I'm gonna do, like I already have visuals of what I would do take it off four days in a row. Yes, my stomach I'm doing things over here, but don't you worry, I'm making my own money the days that I am here, because when I am here I'm gonna do an amazing job, amazing job.
Speaker 1:You're like, speaking of that, I got like 160 days saved up, so you leave me alone, but when it's a good stomach day.
Speaker 2:See you tomorrow.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:But God knows that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, he does Jesus, he saw. He's like honey, I already saw your future life, he did.
Speaker 2:So he said I'm going to give you this little pooch where, yeah, I'd say, okay, you know what I mean, and you know, I gotta be humble. In my garden you can't do too much because I still gotta breathe.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, that's why, but he knows me. No, when you go home, you let all that out, right?
Speaker 1:yeah, listen first of all, when I go home, I like to be free yeah, free, free I'm free I think we uh, I won't share the story, but I think you had told me a story that you fell asleep one time, too free. You forgot free. But no, you forgot you were. It was like a nap. You didn't expect to fall asleep and the family came home because I'm free, yeah they're like you're having like uh man, you might want to go in the. You know the bedroom don't be free let me be me right.
Speaker 2:Yeah, of course that's how it is. But you know, I, like I told you me and jesus got this understanding like he, he knew some things he just can't give me. He can make me an amazing teacher, but he know he can't give me a flat stomach, because I can be amazing with a flat stomach. You know, I'm not going to be a word. I'm not going to know where to go, I wouldn't even know what to do.
Speaker 1:I just need to read.
Speaker 2:If my stomach was that flat Look in my trunk, the sports bra on and some leggings and shorts Like I just I know my level of ignorance.
Speaker 1:Like I know though.
Speaker 2:Like though, yeah, like I'm gonna be a fashion. No, no accountability. Yeah, my pajamas. I'm gonna be a fashion over my like all the time my level of ignorance would be so bad.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so we see you everywhere. What billboards and all listen like be like somebody don't stop her, let her go but I know yeah, so that's why claim it. You gotta claim it, it's yours I just know what it is.
Speaker 2:So right here c-sections this little baby's gonna so. Right here C-sections this little baby's gonna be right here, Because I want to keep my job. Yeah, I'm gonna make this into my FUPA, so I'm gonna go online. Thank you, lord, for my FUPA. Don't make it any bigger, because it's a nice size right now. Where I can, you know, hide it?
Speaker 1:All of of old Tim Hortons. You know what I get that.
Speaker 2:Say thank you, Lord, for my FUPA. It's gonna be like bubbles.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, but then you gotta change the acronym for our school. Like what's FUPA? Play dumb, like you don't know what FUPA is, but you know what you're talking about we gotta make something else.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we gotta change the.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but you can't really promote that at work, so you gotta create it like an educational fun, something, something, program you know like make it something inviting. But in your mind you're, you know you can walk by it every day and get that snicker and that little half grin like yeah.
Speaker 2:I love you, but listen, I'm telling you I'm a great teacher because of my FUPA, because it keeps me humble in the classroom.
Speaker 1:What's that song? Stay humble, stay kind. That's Kendrick Lamar. Yeah, the good one. I can't. I don't know if I can ever think about you without thinking about your poofa and your humbleness.
Speaker 2:Listen.
Speaker 1:I'm big, we have no qualms here. We just we share it all and that's cool.
Speaker 2:We've probably gone off so much.
Speaker 1:But people can see that like teachers are like real people too. Oh god, we are real. I mean, I have no shame in my game, none at all. But what were we talking about just now? I don't know, I know we do go off tangent, but I've. I've shared that on day one of my podcast. I said I'm no, but yeah, I do, but no. Then I go off tangent no matter what, where I'm at, who I'm with's, you can only talk about one topic for a second without jumping into 8,000 more.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And then when people are like well, what were you talking about? Oh, no, what. What were?
Speaker 2:you. Well, we were talking about that.
Speaker 1:I'm an amazing teacher.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah.
Speaker 1:And how you're fire and I fight for the underdog. I love that you went right to your podcast voice. Yeah, so soothing and seductive. I think you're taking your flat stomach to a whole new level. I think you're channeling. I just held it in, so I'm feeling like yeah, I know, and it's seductive and it's like, ooh, who's she channeling? But did you hear me listen to it?
Speaker 2:I don't know how sexy that was. I just held it in gonna die down, so I just gotta let it so, uh, does she have a name?
Speaker 1:the other person we need to give her a name. Yeah, all because of this you know, like you know hey girl, hey uh-oh, who pays that?
Speaker 2:hello welcome to my podcast episode so this is ronette talking, this is foupe okay, I like it is.
Speaker 1:It's a beautiful way to french for extra tummy extra loving in my oven. Yes, there you go, yeah. Yeah, see, we could do this all day long I love that topic again. Let me see what are your questions say no, but I did have a. Talked about a lot I do. I have a question for you, because I'm not sure if you've been asked this ever, but talk about alopecia and talk about your wigs. Yeah, would you ever not wear one at work? Could you ever see yourself getting to that point?
Speaker 2:makeup and all like fine I get asked that actually a lot, do you? My husband tells me every day baby, just be free, you know what I mean well, you talk about how You've seen me fall. Yeah, be free. Do I think that I am at a level in my life that I'm ready to do that? No, I'm not there and it's not more so. Like like I'm embarrassed, it's just like, like wigs are awesome.
Speaker 1:Like I just love, like you know, like different hair different styles.
Speaker 2:You Different hair, different styles. You know what I mean.
Speaker 1:She has some cute ones, because I have my own personal favorite, the bob. The bob. She's sexy. That's when I see Foubet. She got this whole different like bounce to her when she wears it too and I'm like damn. So I always have to make sure I compliment her when I see her.
Speaker 2:But your bob was dope when you had it. Remember, you had it when you was blonde.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, yeah, like that was the dopest. Do you know what's funny? I just had a breakdown with my hairstylist because I would like to go short. Like shave, do an up top kind of like that soft mask level, like the mom with the sex tablet.
Speaker 2:Mom, what's her name? Okay, no, that's just nasty. That's kate.
Speaker 1:No, no, that's not a hairstyle no, no, no, no, I'll show you afterwards like we're talking hot. I don't know what that was, but thanks, you can just ruin this the whole moment. I'm no, I'll show you afterwards Like we're talking hot. I don't know what that was, but thanks, you can just ruin this whole moment.
Speaker 2:I'm just trying to. No, I'll show you. I'm trying to cut your hair off.
Speaker 1:It's just something I wanted. Are you going to put your earrings on?
Speaker 1:Oh, yeah, yeah, okay, we'll get to that conversation next you can put your earrings Talking about how it's just not really possible because of my scar line across. So everything is just so thin and there's so many scars and it was frustrating to me, right. So I'm having a moment because I'm triggered, which is fine, Because I need to be triggered, I need to let it all go. And she shows me pictures. She's like well, what about? And she was just trying to be nice what about tattooing? I was like listen, I appreciate that, but I don't find that sexy. I don't connect to the amount of tattoo that this woman had that she showed me. I was like I teach also and I don't think that's very appealing or inviting. Yeah, she's like well, what about when you speak across the world? I'm like I still don't. I'm like I'm just telling you that person out there looks hot. I don't connect with it because, again, my scarline still will show. Yeah, and I was like, thank you for that. But then it kind of frustrated me more.
Speaker 2:I was like, whatever this feeling is, feel it, listen, you can get a wig to do it for you. Yeah, believe it or not, like they create them where you can get a short style to like yeah like what you do do what I do, just try it.
Speaker 1:That's a good thing to look into. I will my biggest thing. I'm a scratchy itcher. Everything itches for me. You take them out just middle of my day like hold on while I'm driving halfway home.
Speaker 2:That's why I talked to god too oh menopause yeah, I talked to him about menopause oh, you haven't hit that area yet.
Speaker 1:No, but we have to talk. Yeah, you have to have that conversation because have you hit perimenopause? They told me that I was like close you'll know I mean when the fibroids start acting up, they told me listen, but my fibroids acted up when I was 19 and then at 30 they were like you could get a hysterectomy because you're basically in perimenopause. I'm like, oh, but I was.
Speaker 2:I was like wasn't it just started right and I know it's coming?
Speaker 1:yeah, but again.
Speaker 2:But again I had to talk to JC.
Speaker 1:Yeah, jc has had some great conversations with us. He's like now, what lesbian Like? Listen, listen, poupee, what do you want?
Speaker 2:You're not going to make me sweat on the top of my head. Oh yeah, I think you're going to put me through some changes, right. But I can't rip my wig off in the middle of class.
Speaker 1:You can't rip my wig off in the middle of class you can't have my face wet, but maybe, maybe that's what jc will do to have you push yourself out of that comfort zone but I don't want to be pushed out of that jc.
Speaker 2:Jc's listening, by the way, so he's like, oh, you don't, I got you because one I paid a lot for the unit I got out, so this is not to be taken off, right I? Get it, I get it like I, I my my wigs are not bothersome to me, no right, like I, just I love them. But doing menopause?
Speaker 1:yeah, you're not gonna love it, I just need him to not let that happen yeah that's why I be talking to you, yeah he's like okay, but I'm gonna teach you something, though he's gonna teach you a valuable lesson somewhere he already taught me with the fupa right, you know just carry that bandana so you can just dab, dab, dab. Yeah, that's all you need. Oh, you see those new fans. They have the neck fans that are like powerful.
Speaker 2:I saw it, so maybe you'll just be aligned and then I'm hoping that he's like you know what you're already hot I'm not gonna make you feel hot, yeah he's like you're already. Foupe is already on fire yeah, so I'm just you know, that's why I talk we talk to too.
Speaker 1:Our level is not the same as yours. You've got a whole different.
Speaker 2:But I've been saying it for you. What Like the vision? Make it plain.
Speaker 1:I know, go home and write it down. That's hilarious, hey.
Speaker 2:JC, what up? Yeah, hey, don't make me sweat on my head.
Speaker 1:No, I just early doctor, finally, before COVID. So I was being naughty but I was like, let me just go because I need to figure out if my cortisol is too high. Because it was like a waking, but just in my stomach this year, and I'm like, okay, I fluctuate. I've always fluctuated in my stomach, but this was like a hey bam. I'm like, oh, I mean, can you slide somewhere else? Like to the booty. Yeah, jc didn't care for that. He said I got you. So this lady was just sweet as can be and I'm telling her all my woes and I'm like, ugh. She's like, oh, ok, well, just schedule more appointments. Mamogram, internal ultrasound. I'm like, oh, listen, you could put a booty pad on? No, I was like I could. Could you imagine I'd be the girl that walks and all of falls out?
Speaker 2:you see, like panties, they're just you know, you're just giving you. Just I don't need a booty pad.
Speaker 1:I like my little. I actually love. I've like grown to love my little booty. See, there you go and like the other day I have. The other day I had something on there's like booty shorts and I was like, oh, I can squeeze it, I'm like see, I can't wear booty shorts so you can do it yeah shorts and where I would never be able to get away with those what I think you could. You could no People would be looking for the right reasons.
Speaker 2:Thighs out, so Thick thighs save lives.
Speaker 1:Exactly so. Let them out. Let them out to save lives.
Speaker 2:I have to say mental life work.
Speaker 1:Oh, I'm talking about after hours, like after school. Let Foufey wear the booty thighs. Now you got me saying all short, what am I saying? Booty shorts, let Foufay wear them after hours. You're out of school, what about?
Speaker 2:listen, I get down after school, okay.
Speaker 1:I don't get to see you often at the school no one really sees me, I know. I know you still dress raw today for me yeah, but this will be me outside of school.
Speaker 2:Old Navy summer dress outside of school oh yeah, I'm a mom.
Speaker 1:You know what I mean.
Speaker 2:So I'm still like careful with it.
Speaker 1:You still carry Jesus right there?
Speaker 2:Yes, right there, Listen, I told you me. And JC.
Speaker 1:I know.
Speaker 2:Me and G like we got a different you know, like relationship.
Speaker 1:I say the same thing. I'm like I'm pretty cool, I got my spirits.
Speaker 2:And I know when I have something on that. Yeah, maybe I shouldn't, because my husband where you going.
Speaker 1:Oh see, when he asked it.
Speaker 2:now, you know, I'm like baby, look okay, where you about to go with that on.
Speaker 1:So you know, that's when I know, yeah, you're like to the front door to get the mail to come back in. Hey, do you change after that, or?
Speaker 2:are you still? Where are you going, vince? I'm all covered up, yeah, but that booty to my husband you're like, babe, I can't do anything about the booty. Yeah, it's there you're looking all thick going out the house. This is me did not sound like him he did.
Speaker 1:I love his old man. His old man chat, he's guy he is. I love that he came into your life. But that's because you had a conversation with Jaycee and Jaycee said you've gone through war back and I've got you. He loves me with my hair off and that's why I appreciate he's learned how to clean my wig, See that's.
Speaker 2:He's learned how to clean like the glue and stuff off of my units like that's a real man. That's a real man yeah, that's truly a real man like if I'm like exhausted, he's like just give it to me, I'll do it so wait, let me ask you this.
Speaker 1:Yeah, because I know you didn't just hand it over when he said let me clean it. I know you had to give him the boot camp of a week's worth of like lessons. Oh no, because you're you're very particular too.
Speaker 2:Yeah, how to do it. Um, that you know. Now he knows how to do it.
Speaker 1:Perfect and it's nothing yeah.
Speaker 2:And you know I've always walked around my kids like with my hair off.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Because I just wanted them to be comfortable with it. So I know people with alopecia, whose spouses have never seen their hair.
Speaker 1:Really yeah.
Speaker 2:Like I know, like women who never ever like seen it.
Speaker 1:But I want I women who never, ever seen it.
Speaker 2:But I, I want, I always wanted my kids to know that this is mommy. Yeah, and my husband now knows like this is mommy. You know where you're not liking me because of what I look like or loving me yeah, because, like my heart, and people just don't understand that it's the heart of people oh yeah to segue back, which makes us an amazing like teaching set yeah, it's like oh, heart and soul.
Speaker 1:Heart, yeah, heart and soul has always been me. I've lived my life and nothing, if anything, even with the healing and unhealed version, I still was led by heart and soul yeah that never changed. Yeah oh yeah. Healing isn't linear, it's never gonna go away. You're, you're, I mean. I'm not sitting here and saying I want, want to be healed and we still hurt, right God yeah.
Speaker 1:It's still okay to not be okay, yeah, yeah, because new things come up and it's like I could be doing all this work and all of a sudden, something I never saw coming from my past just hits me. I'm like what the oh? You think I'm ready for this? Like that's that conversation, was that okay? So, going back, you were talking about how you'd like to be free for your kids to see, have them see you in, and that's great, because I got a little distracted by the crazy squirrel. So now that we're back and we were talking about your children seeing you in all of your glory, your righteous, beautiful glory, they're obviously okay with everything. Do they ever ask you questions of fear of the future or do you just?
Speaker 2:no, talk to them about no, because I've always been very, very open, okay, um, about alopecia, so like when they were babies I purposely would not have my hair on, just so they're comfortable. Yeah, so you know, I will tell them stories of things that I've been through.
Speaker 1:They know like we all have stuff going on, just keep pushing so and also to know that spreading awareness and spreading kindness, that it matters what you say to people, your friends, anyone like that has an effect. And that's what I always teach with my nephews is this is what I went through. You don't want to be that person that you. You know. My nephew, my one nephew, he is the greatest, especially with kids with disabilities. He'll always jump out, help me in any way and that came naturally. He came to all our, a lot of our special olympics practices when he was really little and he high-fived him during practice and he's just that aware and he he understands that bullying happens, but but he doesn't have a tendency to be mean too, like on the other kids. And I remind them like, hey, what you just said, snapping off it hurts people you may not think it does, but it's going to have an impact on somebody.
Speaker 1:So be careful, because you're basically projecting whatever it is you're feeling right now. So if you're going through something, share that. Yeah, don't keep it bottled in kids are so different nowadays and I think a lot of it's the social media and the technology.
Speaker 2:Parents just have to do a better job of like hugging and loving their kids, yeah like that's oh god yeah, problem, you know what I mean. Like normalize telling your kid I love you.
Speaker 1:Normalize just walking in their room boys and girls, because I think people forget boys need to hear that just as much as girls do.
Speaker 2:Yeah like I tell my son all the time, like your superpower is your brain. You, you know, my daughter, you are so talented Because you have to speak life. I've had to speak life into my situations. You have to speak life into your students. I have to speak life into the classroom. I have to speak life into our ESY program. You know what I mean? Just just, I have to speak life into this podcast. Watch what you say.
Speaker 2:Yeah so and I told you know like my story on and and how does it feel to be able to share that? But I don't feel depleted, I don't feel nervous, like I just feel I'm chilling. You know what I mean, like I can't control it.
Speaker 1:No, so why fight that world of control? Yeah, and that's what I said earlier is I don't want to be the victim. I want to be the hero of my own story, because I'm the writer, I'm the creator, I'm the director of my story.
Speaker 2:And I don't ask about you know, like I don't even, I'm not even at the point where I'm like. God, can you bring my hair back, like after 28 years, like people don't understand that it's not that. I don't have the faith. It's just not my priority. This is just me.
Speaker 1:Surgeries. Someone asked me. They're like would you ever start your surgery? Why? I said my biggest struggle was every time I asked for a surgery it changed how I looked, which meant that it changed how I felt about myself, which I was already struggling with. So then, therefore, now I have to start over, I go.
Speaker 1:Who wants that life? Why am I chasing? I attract, I don't chase. I don't need to chase for a face.
Speaker 1:I got to love me, I got to like, chase myself, and that's non-existent because it's not my reality.
Speaker 1:My reality is right here, present this moment. So if I can't get a hold of this and love all this, then I'm just gonna be chasing for the rest of my life and jc jc's always gonna be holding that carrot like come on, you want to do that life? Then, when you run yourself ragged until you're so depleted, I don't want that life, no, thank you. So I had to take a pause because my friend had to take a very important phone call, so we ended up having to delete that entire section which we kind of talked about basically her husband going into a program for the Golden Apple Accelerant and how proud we were of him, and basically we kind of just jumped to a new segment of learning and how we learn on our own and not always being the crutch for other people, in the sense of you have to let people do the things they need to do on their own, which then brings us into the next part of the podcast.
Speaker 2:enjoy yeah, and it's just like thinking outside box, like that's what teaching is all the time.
Speaker 1:Trust your intuition outside the box?
Speaker 2:yep, what would be the best way? I will learn this exactly you can't be afraid to laugh, you can't be afraid to, you know I dance. Yeah, you know me do a little a count, can't be afraid to reach back into those things that made you happy.
Speaker 1:You know like as a child, creating a song, to memorize something, to memorize the formula. Yeah, we did all that last year. But that's what I loved about last year. It's kind of it brought me back into it. It's like a reminder and it was fun because that was just a refresher for you.
Speaker 1:Yeah, like you repeat cycles, love it again. For yeah, exactly because not everything has to be repeated cycle where it's like, okay, you missed a lesson, but more so of a reflection of, okay, this is what you used to enjoy. Like you need that back in your life and that's why I think mr t and everyone came into my life after that, because I was doing that work, that received those blessings, because it was a blessing to have that man waltz into that classroom because he was, I mean, oh, phenomenal, and with me I just how can?
Speaker 2:I put it I don't want to bore myself, do you?
Speaker 1:don't want to bore yourself.
Speaker 2:I have to keep it you know, fresh every day and plus, I get so much joy when I see like their light bulbs go off where they get it.
Speaker 1:I've walked into your classroom a couple times and witnessed that.
Speaker 2:That's why I love watching you teach.
Speaker 1:It's like thank God, and I just it's so hard to describe, because it's beyond joy, because it, like it, lights up within you like yeah and I didn't, like, even during covid, like I didn't hate teaching, like I love what I do yeah but I also know that I'm being elevated to do something else and I just have to be patient.
Speaker 2:So with me working with Golden Apple, I knew that I always wanted to help other teachers and other educators become better teachers. So me being a part of their mentor, that mentoring program, that now I get to go and watch other teachers in their element and help them to develop into their best selves. So I'm actually looking forward to like that next chapter and I just got like my acceptance email, so I'm actually looking forward to like that next chapter and I just got like my acceptance email.
Speaker 1:So will this next chapter, will it be sporadic, or do you see yourself in the long run making that more permanent?
Speaker 2:Probably making it permanent.
Speaker 1:And leaving the teaching.
Speaker 2:I don't know, you know like.
Speaker 1:I can. I know it's a scary question because it is, but I can see like doing something on the side.
Speaker 1:Okay, you know what I mean, yeah like doing something on the side, okay, I mean, yeah, well, that's kind of what I want to do is eventually, you know, motivational speaking, I writing my books. I want to eventually leave the teaching experience, but it's not for anything that like because I hate it. It's just that when you know, you know and like I know that my creative passions are like on fire and I know that I wasn't even aware of these gifts before.
Speaker 2:And now that?
Speaker 1:I have them, it's like I keep building on them and I love that I'm learning, like I'm teaching myself, and that's that kind of light bulb that you just that spark that's like, okay, use this, let's not just sit on it, but I feel it. I just know it's about timing and so I trust it too, because before I was like, okay, I'm gonna give myself a time limit three years. Why? Why do that to yourself?
Speaker 1:because you're limiting yourself yeah there's things you need to learn and jc's already paying a ton to raise like oh, you said three years, you put it, you put a demand. No, I didn't. Now it's like it'll happen when it's supposed to happen.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and like I knew that this, like I wanted to do this next level with helping incoming teachers, because with golden apple they do something called scholarly institutes this summer and that's for the teachers or like college students in their program that they go through like this extensive training right, oh yeah but I was able to be a speaker at lake forest and northern college and I remember my topic was debunking the myths of working with diverse learners and it was standing room. Only, you know, in my symposiums, Right.
Speaker 2:Like they, I had like great evaluations and the students just walked away because I was my authentic self.
Speaker 1:And I was talking to them. It was like it fired them up.
Speaker 2:So people from Golden Apple call me a lesbian. I was talking to them, it was like it fired them up. So people from Golden Apple call me it loves me. Everybody wants to be in your clan and I'm just like, but this is what I want to do.
Speaker 1:But you want to be on that level with them. That's the thing I think people forget, remember, because we wear so many hats. It's like who should I be for these people? It's like no, I'm not trying to like, I don't need to sell you, because if I have to sell you, that means I'm overselling myself and I'm becoming something I'm not. I'm giving you a version of myself that doesn't truly exist. I'm just.
Speaker 2:I just I only know how to be me.
Speaker 1:Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 1:Like there are multiple levels of me, yes, but you're going to get them all in one sitting, and that's what I love about this part, whereas before I think shaming yourself and knowing like, okay, I'm totally being a version that I don't want to be. When people told me fake it till you make it, I don't know how to fake it. I can't fake things. Like I mask so much of my life that was faking it and that almost killed me. Why do you think I want to fake it till I make it? I'm never going to make it then, because I'm lying to myself and I'm putting that energy out there in the world of just lies. Yeah, I can't, and it's so much harder now, like when you, when you're around people, you feel they're lying, you're like I don't know how to connect with that, because I was that before. So I hold space, but I just can't.
Speaker 1:I can't sit and listen to this anymore, you know, it's like someone's food feeding me bs. Yeah, I don't want that. It's just no part of it. And that's where my brain is sometimes with the politicians, the politics of education. Here these kids matter. There's so much we could be doing for these kids. There's so much money, there's so many people you could hire. Why don't we hire grant writers to supplement for the things that we need for these kids?
Speaker 2:And then just administrators just got to trust the teachers. Yes, you know, I don't need a new you know strategy introduced every three days, like no, that's because, yeah, like SQ3R, I will never forget that you know in school. You know what I mean. But it was just a way that we organized information and I just think that you know, we just have to get to the point that we have to just stay with something and let that work.
Speaker 1:And it's not going to happen overnight. Oh, every year we change it.
Speaker 2:Practice where but we don't. We have no idea if this one works. We we gave this strategy 12 seconds. Yeah, we need some more time. Like you have to develop, and if you're always changing, you know, every 30 seconds, we can't see if anything worked.
Speaker 1:we have no data to compare it to.
Speaker 2:Let me do give me a semester yeah, you know, a year.
Speaker 1:It's about consistency. Consistency and holding people accountable. Fine, if you don't feel you can't trust a teacher that says something about you and that teacher that you need to have a conversation with, not put all of us in one glass jar and say, okay, you're all messing it up, so let's change jesus. Ready, jc?
Speaker 2:we're both asking this fix it, jesus well on that level.
Speaker 1:I know that you do need to get going soon, but I really wanted to say thank you for this absolutely. I truly enjoyed. I didn't know what you were going to say when I put it out there. I was like you know what I want to ask her. And it wasn't even because I was like, oh, we'll talk about alopecia or something. It was just because I was like you know what she needs to just come sit down with me.
Speaker 2:But I think that this was good for me too. Yeah, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1:It's divinely aligned, yeah.
Speaker 2:I'm comfortable talking about it.
Speaker 1:And I love that you freely spoke about it before even me even bringing it up. But what I'm going to do, I don't know.
Speaker 2:It's not like a strain coming up anytime you know what I mean yeah, I know.
Speaker 1:There's no like magic buttons.
Speaker 2:No, you just learn how to buy the right eyebrow pencil, you learn how to buy the right type of lashes and you get you a bomb haircut. And then I keep going and I keep moving.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:I cannot let alopecia ran my life so much. Yeah, that now I do it when I want to, and that's how I'm going to do it Because I can't even answer for me.
Speaker 1:Like obviously I had cruise on since I was born, so like I lived with it. But it was true, though, when puberty hit in seventh grade, it fucked me in the worst way possible, because emotions I'm already a sensitive person. I was a beautiful, sensitive person then. Like I just saw joy and love and light, and everyone, everyone was a damn rainbow and a unicorn to me, because I just felt that I was like an internalized care bearer. So then puberty hit and everything became dark, yeah, you know, and it was slow motion and I was like you could see the joy leaving me, you could see the love leaving and I. I saw it and I hated it because it was. It was almost like you're pulling a tug of war and you're pulling, but you can see that the other person now there's like 10 people on there and only one of you and you're just slowly letting go of the rope. You're like damn it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I can look at pictures and tell like this was a really bad moment in my life. Yeah, and then I look at pictures now and like I see peace yeah so my takeaway from just even with this podcast, you know, it's just protect your peace. Yes, you know things that are not going to bring me pour back into yourself.
Speaker 1:I don't want to, I don't want any parts of it, exactly you know, and I don't feel shame about that you know, like when you were talking about how your, your group was small, I look at that now as that's my life is because protecting my peace also, I can't fake that, I can't be something, that I'm not with you. And you know like obviously I don't drink anymore. So I don't know if that just means people stop asking me to invite me out because they think that that's gonna bother me like none of that bothers me, but your life has gone on, you know yeah you know exactly like I.
Speaker 1:I can be in those moments and be fine with it.
Speaker 2:It's not something I'm like oh god, I miss that me finding peace is me sitting in my loft watching Bridgerton when no one interrupting me.
Speaker 1:That's the key. No one interrupting you. I'm okay with that. Mine is literally a blanket sitting up against a tree listening to a book on tape or my music or writing.
Speaker 2:But mine is swinging in, my egg swing.
Speaker 1:Your egg swing. Mm-hmm, wait, what's an egg?
Speaker 2:swing. You know the swing that kind of looks like an egg.
Speaker 1:No, but I don't like hammocks it's like a hammock okay but it's like the circle, oh, kind of like a, uh, like a birdcage, yeah, okay, yeah, that would be so.
Speaker 2:You saw my video that I posted. I was in that over the weekend and I was in georgia and I was just swinging yeah, and I was like this is my hat yes, because you could do it for hours and not even know.
Speaker 1:I went by, I was in.
Speaker 2:Menards and I saw the patio swing. So you're like don't, but I sat there and I was swinging.
Speaker 1:Who doesn't? I mean, come on, go to Bed, Bath Beyond. Who's not going to try this little bed and be like I'm going to just cozy up and see if?
Speaker 2:I like it. It's too high so I can't do bed baths. They don't have enough deals for me, True.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I got mine off of Amazon.
Speaker 2:There we go.
Speaker 1:Amazon Say that I got my bed. I got the new one where it's I don't know what it's called Nest something. It's a blanket, no, it's a bed. Oh. But I needed something. Mine was too hard, oh. So I got one that kind of like molds into you, yeah. Then I got 900 pillows and a full body pillow. Yeah, my husband hates the pillows.
Speaker 2:He's like what's the point?
Speaker 1:I'm like they just look so nice. Well, no, you should see me Like I got cooler, like coolant. So one side's cool and one side's warm. Those pillows are phenomenal.
Speaker 2:Amazon, amazon. You gotta send me the link.
Speaker 1:Oh, see you trying to make me shy. Oh my bad. Well, this is the gift I keep on giving. This is for Foupe, All right.
Speaker 2:With that being said, again, thank you so much, my lesby, lesby, lesby Thank you so much for inviting me.
Speaker 1:This was amazing. Oh, that sounded like Foupe said goodbye. This was amazing.
Speaker 2:Thank you.
Speaker 1:And, with that being said, thank you all for joining me on another episode of Infinite Love. Bye.